The Love I Need

Chapter 43

Time seems to lose its meaning when you're crying. I don't know if we've been on the floor for ten minutes or two hours. All I know is my sobs have stopped ripping out of my body and my tears have begun to dry on my cheeks.

Theo cradles me against his chest while he moves his feet beneath his body and pushes himself into a standing position. He carries me into the kitchen and sets me down on the counter, half a foot away from the stove.

He studies my face while staying close, then reaches up with both hands to gently wipe my cheeks and just below my eyes with the pads of his thumbs. He steps away to grab a box of tissues from the island counter and places them beside me before walking to the fridge to pull out some containers. I take the opportunity to blow my nose.

When Theo returns with the containers, he places a hand on my knee. He keeps it on me while he turns on one of the burners on the stove. He moves a pot over top of the burner and then begins to open the containers. He tosses the contents of them in a pan and turns on a second burner to a low heat.

I glance at the stovetop and the counter on the other side. He seems to be heating a stir fry and getting ready to cook some rice.

Throughout the process, he stays close to me. He continually gives my knee a gentle squeeze or massages my shoulder while using his other hand to stir the food or check the rice.

His eyes have a misty look to them, and at one point I'm sure I see a tear roll down his cheek. Yet, he still comes across as an unshakable force. It's clear he's affected by my pain, but it's unable to break him. He's strong enough to handle whatever life throws at him, including me.

I feel like I should say something to him to show my gratitude or to apologize for my drama, but my body doesn't want to cooperate. My mouth can't speak. My brain can't think. All I can do is sit in place and cling to the comforting touch that I keep receiving from Theo.

When the rice is ready, he dishes the food onto two plates and sets one next to me. He places his close by and continues to stand near the counter, occasionally touching my knee while he eats.

I try to eat, for him, but it doesn't go well. Each bite takes forever to chew and swallowing feels impossible. After three small bites, I give up on trying and resort to pushing the food around on my plate with the fork in my hand.

Theo hands me a glass of water, and I take a few sips before setting it down on the counter and going back to pushing my food around.

I lift my gaze to look at him. He too seems to not have much of an appetite. His eyes move to scan over my plate, and I wait for him to scowl at me or ask me to eat more but it doesn't happen. He takes a few more bites of his stir-fry and then picks up both of our plates and carries them to the garbage to scrape the rest of the food off.

After giving the plates a quick rinse in the sink, he stands in front of me again. His hands come up to grip my hips and he slides me to the edge of the counter and then lifts me into his arms again.

This is so ridiculous. My legs aren't broken. Then again, I was just having a hard time with the simple act of chewing...

My cheek rests against his shoulder while he carries me through the living room and down the hallway. He strokes a hand over my head and down my back before slowly easing me down his body to stand on my feet outside of the bathroom door.

"Do you need anything from upstairs?" His voice is low and quiet. His eyes look deeply into mine as if what he's really asking is whether or not I'll be okay being alone for a few minutes.

I nod my head to his unasked question, then shake it in response to the question he verbalized.

"Pyjamas?" he suggests. His hand skims up the side of my thigh, brushing along my jeans to draw attention to what I'm wearing.