The Love I Need

Chapter 8

As we sit around the table, I can't keep my eyes from examining April.

I don't understand.

She's not exactly ugly, but she's not at all what I imagined when Cal said he was married.

She's tall, for a woman. That, along with her dark eyes and hair, make it obvious that she's Theo's sister. It's hard to pinpoint her body type because she's still wearing that unflattering denim dress. I should have realized it was the same woman from this morning, the second I saw her in the doorway. I can't see that dress being very popular amongst others.

One thing's for sure though, the woman has a set of jugs on her. Everything about her appearance seems to be the polar opposite of me.

Knowing Cal had replaced me had cut deep to start with, but finding out he had done it with a woman that didn't look anything like me... Fuck.

It's fucking agony.

All the times he had told me I was perfect; that my tiny tits were his favourite... Did that mean nothing?

I guess I really had never been enough for him. When our paths split, he had found someone who was everything I wasn't, and he had fucking married her.

I want to claw her eyes out.

Emily is bragging about her pancake making skills while she finishes carrying our individual plates to the table. April is nodding along and smiling at her, but she must feel my eyes, because she glances away from Emily and gives me a gentle smile.

Fuck. How I wish she was a bitch.

Why can't she be the one giving me dirty looks? She could take notes from the miserable man that is her brother.

Speaking of the mountain man... From the corner of my eye, I can see him watching me from his seat at the head of the table. I turn to face him, wondering what kind of serious expression he'll be giving me this time, but I'm surprised to see a completely different look on his face.

He's looking at me like I'm a thing to be pitied.

No. No, thank you. Nuh-uh. Fuck that.

I lift my chin and look away, being sure not to look at April again. I don't need pity from that asshole, or gentle smiles from her. I don't need anything from them, period.

My eyes land on Cal.

He's sitting next to April, and though I can't see his hand, I'm sure it's resting on her thigh. I can tell by the way he's holding his arm away from his own body and ever so slightly leaning toward her.

It looks like he's trying to keep his attention on Emily, but he keeps glancing in my direction. He notices me watching him and we hold eye contact.

I know that face.

He's crawling in his skin right now. It's killing him to be sitting here, listening to a little girl babble about useless things. He wants to talk to me. He wants to hold me.

I know, because I feel the same way.

That's right, April. He may have his hand on your thigh, but I'm the one who currently holds all of his attention.

Perhaps he moved on to my polar opposite, but I guess I can't really blame him. He was hurting. He was confused. Once he knows the truth, he'll come back to me. He has to.

He's mine.

"Okay, enough chit chat, chatterbox," Theo says with a smile as Emily sets the last plate of pancakes on the table. He waits for her as she climbs onto the empty chair next to me and sits up on her knees. "Let's say grace."