The Love I Need

Chapter 47

TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter includes some scenes with blood/gore and unpleasant imagery. Reader's discretion is advised.
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"And in our prayers, let us also remember the Jones family and our brother Theo Morrison. As many of you are aware, April lost her husband, Benjamin O'Malley, seven years ago when the Lord called him home after a terrible accident.

"Today, on the anniversary of that accident, we think of April as well as their daughter, Emily. And as we are reminded of this event with great sorrow and many questions, we also rejoice and find comfort in the many blessings that God grants to us.

"We are thankful that our brother Cal Jones could find his home amongst us and for the role he plays in our community. We are also thankful that Theo Morrison's life was spared in this same accident; that the Lord saw fit to gift Theo with more years to walk this earth with us, and that he is alive and well despite all the earthly factors that were at play against him..."

The minister continues to talk about matters that the congregation can pray for but I can't hear him over the whooshing sound in my ears.

My heart feels like it's bottomed out into my stomach. I'm going to vomit. I'm going to pass out. I'm going to scream.

But none of those things actually happen. I just stare straight ahead at the minister.

From the corner of my eye, I see Emily leaning into Cal's side now too. He moves his other arm around her shoulders just like he's doing with April. She isn't crying, but she looks distraught. It must be weird to hear about your father's death when you have no memories of him.

Everyone is bowing their heads now while the minister leads them in prayer.

I finally pry my eyes off of the man up front to look at Theo.

His arm is around Megan again. It looks like she's crying on his shoulder but it's hard to tell from this angle. I'm not even mad at the sight. Given the chance, I'd be crying on his shoulder too.

Instead, I'm sitting here, stuck in a sickening daze.

Theo almost died?

The car accident he talked about before... The way he was so adamant about staying around April and Emily yesterday...

And I was just trying to get in his pants and getting all butthurt that he wasn't interested! Holy fuck!

Guilt overwhelms me, even as I remind myself that I didn't know. Theo didn't tell me.

How could he have told you when you spent Friday night bawling in his arms and Saturday night hiding out in your room?

While I berate myself, the minister ends his prayer and announces the closing song.

Theo says something to Megan and pats her arm as the piano starts playing, then stands up and exits the pew. He gives a few quick, awkward smiles and slight head nods to some of the people close by, then drops his eyes to the floor and quickly makes his way to the exit while voices fill the sanctuary; some with singing and some with low whispers.

I look to Cal and April, wondering if they'll go after him.

Cal shifts in place, his eyes staring back in the direction Theo went as if he's thinking about it. He turns back to April, and his mind is made. He pulls her tightly against his side again and squeezes Emily's shoulder.

April leans back to look behind Cal's head and makes eye contact with me. Her message is clear, though she doesn't say a word.

This is why she wanted me here.