A painter's game - Tom Kaulitz

Protect

Tom walked up the stairs as he looked back at me with a smile. I felt soft and warm every time he gave me that smile.

Mary put down her glass and started to walk to the couch. She sat down as she took the remote and pressed the button. The Tv came on and it was the news.

"Reporting news! The police have found 7 dead men in a club last night, it seems like they got beaten up and shot multiple times."
Said a woman outside of the club.

I stared at the tv as I felt my heart drop.

I walked up to her and grabbed the remote from her hand, I pressed a button to a different channel. I didn't want to see anything more.

I dropped the remote. Trying to focus.

Mary looked at me with a worried face.

Was the police going to search for us? Fuck.

I walked out of the living room.

I started to walk up the stairs to find Tom.

I walked thru the hallway and to his room but he wasn't there. I then walked to the other stair up to my room.

I walked up the few stairs to be relived when I saw him putting on a shirt from the wardrobe.

I gave out a nervous sigh.

He turned around as he looked at me.

His face became worried as he saw me.

"What's wrong?" He said while walking towards me.

"The police found the men..are they out for us?" I breathed.

His expression changed, but not scared.

His hand on my shoulder as he sighed.

"No, they're not." He replied.

"What? How..?" I asked confused while looking up at him.

He gently placed his hand downwards to mine. He placed it in mine while dragging me towards the bed.

He sat down on the edge while I stood in front of him.

He took a deep breath while looking around.

I knew he was going to tell me something, but I wasn't ready.

"In 2009, just a year ago. I shot and killed many people, a year after I left you.." he said while looking away from me. "I committed a mass murder. I'm not a good person, Eselin." He continued while covering his face.

"Me and bill paid them an lot of money, for everything we have done. We made a deal, so they won't bother us even tho they want to."
He expressed.

"I deserve to be locked up, killed, tortured. I don't know what's wrong with me but I do know that I'm fucked up." He said as his hands covering his face.

I didn't know what to say. Why did he kill those people. Why?

I placed both my hands on his wrists, I dragged them away from his face. His head was faced downwards so I couldn't see his face.

Did he feel bad? Or did he just want to admit it.

But I could see a small tear drop on the floor.

Oh,.

I didn't know if I could ever forgive him. He had tortured, abused, really fucked me up. But fuck, I loved him.

I sat down beside him. Feeling him being warm.

I placed my body against his. I didn't reply to anything, I didn't know what to say.

I placed my hand against his face to make him look at me. He finally did. And it was the first time I saw him this sad. His eyes watery and lips puffy.

I placed my hand on his cheek.

"But, I would never try to hurt you, ever again. You're the only light I've ever known" he sobbed.

I wiped his tears off , while he gave me a smile.

We smiled at each other.

And at this moment, it felt like nothing else mattered other than us.

I leaned in, giving him a soft kiss.

I leaned back as we looked at each other once again.

I know he wasn't born like this. It was something that fucked with his brain so badly to turn into this nightmare.

I am coming for all the monsters that ever touched him, I am coming for all the ones who twisted his stars into shadow, they turned him into a nightmare, so I'm going to be theirs. Those men who raped me, it must've been them. To try to kill Tom.

"Why are you like this.. Tom?" I whispered.

He took a second to respond. To le the tears go.

"I never had a chance to be soft. I always have bloody knuckles and shards of glass. I want people to be afraid of hurting me.. but you, you make me soft."

He had always been soft with me. He was awkward and shy around me. But never around other people.

"You don't need to be like this Tom.. you can change?" I said while my hands still on his cheek.

"I can't. They'd kill to see me fall. I can't let them win." He said while drying off his tears.

I stood up as I smiled. He held my hands while looking up at me.

He placed them on my waist.

"Plus, I need to protect you." He said while hugging me.

I felt so loved and protected in his arms.

I knew he couldn't protect me at the same time as he protected himself.

I knew I would needed to help him get out this mess.

I couldn't let those fuckers ruin him.

He wasn't a good person, but he didn't deserve that.

I know that he would forever say 'I got this' but with tears in his eyes. He acted cold. But I knew he was warm.

"You can't protect everyone, and that's fine." I said.

"I have to, I will hurt them, kill them. But not you. If it was up to me, you'd never see a single drop of your own blood again."