A painter's game - Tom Kaulitz

Im so fucking sorry

(Tw : sa, r*pe, I'm not romanticising this in any way)

I panicked as I tried to hit and let go from his grip but he just held me tighter. I saw that he dragged me thru the crowd and then opened a door. I tried to scream but his hands was against my mouth. I had never been more scared. I didn't know what he might do to me.

He dragged me into the dark room, I could hear other men talking and laughing. The man said something in German to the guys before pushing me to the ground. I looked at him in fear, I then realised. It was the same man who tried to kill me and Tom when we crashed the car. The man who held me when they tried to kill Tom. Fuck, I knew they wanted to kill me.

"Please no stop!" I screamed in panic.

Another man held together my arms making me unable to move.

"Let go of me!" I screamed at him.

The man with the empty eyes walked closer. He sat down on one knee.

"I'm sure Tom would do anything for his previous girl.." he grinned.

The men behind me started to laugh.

"Tom will fucking kill you just like he killed your friend!" I screamed at him.

His smile faded as his hand raised.

He slapped my cheek and it burned.

Another man walked closer to me with a bottle with strange liquid in it.

I screamed as he walked closer.

He grabbed my chin as he chugged the liquid in my mouth.
I choked as I tried to spit it out. But it just went down my throat.

I struggled more and more as they held me tight. The liquid tasted like shit and I felt like vomiting.

I could feel my head spinning and light.

The man stood over my limb body as I coughed.

I was so dizzy I couldn't see anything. I tried to move but my body was too heavy. I looked up at the man before closing my eyes and everything went dark.

___

I felt cold and weak as I opened my sore eyes. I felt a cold touch against my body. The feeling of something against my skin made me wake up.

I couldn't move an inch with my body, only a little bit with my eyes.

I felt my whole body ache as I noticed one of the men on top of me panting. I looked down and noticed.
I was being raped.

I tried to get up but the pain and agony thru my whole body made it impossible.

My eyes welled up as I felt him inside of me. I wanted to fucking die.

The tears ran down my face as the cold feeling of him against my skin. His hands pressing me.

I wanted to hit and run but my whole body was weak. I couldn't see what was going on. Only the feeling of him inside me. The pain went thru my whole body. I screamed as loud as I could from the pain. I had never felt anything worse than this..

I felt like i was slowly dying. But that made me calm. The pain would soon go away.

The men took turn to tore my body. To tore each and every living piece inside of me.

I hoped I would rot and die as soon as I closed my eyes.

I felt like everything was my fault. If I hadn't fallen for Tom.. this wouldn't have happened..

It was all my fault and I accepted it. I knew my meaning in life was to be tortured.

I didn't even deserve to die, so I went thru hell and torture instead.

How can death be worse than this.

I felt as every second, my body gave up.

I finally closed my eyes. It was silent.

______

Toms PoV.

"Hey give me a whiskey" I smiled at the bartender as I laughed with Bill.

Me and bill laughed together as I glanced over to Mary and Eselin, they were dancing. I could see the happiness in Eselins eyes, her eyes shined when she smiled. Her vampire teeth was showing again, it made me feel so calm and warm. I missed that laugh. Watching her be so happy and confident made me feel better.

I now looked back at bill. We were talking about childhood memories, the fun ones.

Like how on Halloween, he would dress like pippi long stocking and I a knight. We remembered how we would play pranks on our neighbours when they didn't give us candy. We brought up so many memories I had forgotten..

We talked and talked as I took more shots. Bill drank a lot too but not as much. But it was fun, we didn't usually have talks like this. It meant a lot.

I felt as time went past and I couldn't quite remember what I did. Suddenly I felt as I needed to vomit. I put my head down next to a trash can and puked. I then heard Bill tap on my back.

"Haha you okay?" He laughed behind me.

I felt dizzy but laughed with him.

"Ye I needed to sober up" I laughed.

I didn't know what time it was or how long I'd been there, that made me think of Mary and Eselin. I looked around the room and couldn't see them anymore. I got confused. A bit of worry ran thru my my body.

Bill noticed. He looked around the place.

"Where are they?" He asked.

"Fuck." I said.

I felt a gentle touch on my arm, I looked behind me and saw Mary. My heart dropped as I saw her face, she was worried.

"I couldn't find Eselin and I think I heard something" she said.

I knew exactly what she meant. And that made shills run thru my whole body.

They had got her.

I ran thru the crowd and thru the hallway.

My heart was racing as I worried what they might've done to her. What if I opened a door and see her. And if her body would be laying down dead with blood gushing. I couldn't think.

I banged on every door I could see while Mary and Bill followed me behind and screamed for her name.

I stopped as I heard men talking behind a door.

I was ready for anything. I was ready for a bloody fight.

I burst open the door.

My eyes looked around the room, I couldn't give a fuck who was there except for her.

I then saw her limb body laying unconscious on a bed with a filthy man on top of her.

Everything felt like slow motion. I was scared that she might've been dead.

I dragged the man that was on top of her. I pushed him against the wall as hard as i could. I didn't give a single fuck if I killed him. I wanted him, Dead. His disgusting face made me furious.

I punched him across the face. I punched him so many times that his face was filled with blood and bruises. I went so fast that he didn't have time to react. I pushed him to the floor as he was now unable to move.

I saw her weak body laying on the bed. I picked her up as fast as possible. Her weak body made me ache.

I looked over at Mary who had pulled out her gun. My ears rang as she pulled the trigger. Blood and flesh went everywhere from the the gunshots she fired. Every single man was now on the floor with blood on the floor.

I stepped on their body's as I ran out of the room and down the hall with her in my arms. My eyes started to well up from fear.

"I'm so sorry.." i sobbed as i ran outside.

"I'm so fucking sorry Eselin.. i wish I was there" i whispered as I laid her down in the car.

I felt this heavy guilt build up in my body,
And a tear fall down my face. I had never been more worried for a person in my life. I fucking loved her to death.

"I love you.." i sobbed.