A painter's game - Tom Kaulitz

Bathtub

(Trigger warning for sh, read at your own risk)

I didn't trust Katie. I never did from the start. She was really jealous of how Tom would give me all his attention. But if I were her, I would be happy. I wondered if  Tom would abuse and hit her aswell, probably. I didn't know much about her either, all I knew was that she hated me, did she know about Kit? Did Bill know about Kit.?

I looked at Bill who was fixing his bandage. We both sat down on the cold floor.  What if he didn't know about Kit? That his brother had faked being another person. It was all so confusing.

"Where were you in 2008?" I asked him.

He looked at me confused at the weird question.

"That's an odd question" he replied, kind of uncomfortable.

I knew it was odd but I needed to know.

"I know I just need to know" I said.

He looked uncomfortable and wanted to dodge the question.

"Nothing. Nothing special happened then." He said kind of angry.

I was surprised at his reply. In a second, I felt Toms anger. Was he going to snap just like Tom? He couldn't do that, could he?

Bill stood up as he walked into the bathroom and started the sink. Water ran down his hands as he washed away the blood on his face. He didn't want to answer. What was he hiding?

I now wanted to know what this place was, it looked like a normal house.

I trembled as I slowly got myself up from the ground. It still ache in my waist but I could move a bit. I noticed that Bill watched me go up, watching if I would fall apart any second, he held a towel on his hand as he dried his face.

This floor wasn't done, still renovating. But I think the upstairs floors was done. I walked over the big windows with a glass door, outside was a table with a few chairs. It was also a big lake outside. It looked heavenly. I always had a passion for swimming. The cold calming water touching my body. Cooling me down from all the pain made me so calm and comforted. Even tho it was cold. I looked at the wind blowing thru the trees. Making me more and more tempted to run away. But I couldn't.

I closed my eyes, trying to imagine the wind blowing in my face. Thinking of freedom. Running thru the grass without any shoes. Escaping. But when I opened them, I was in my living hell again. 

I could hear bill walking behind me, feeling his tall figure. His comforting warmth.
I smiled as I felt so safe. I turned around as I expected Bill to wrap his arms around me but it was nothing alike. It was Tom. Tom towering over me.

I backed away and hit the glass gently.
We both heard footsteps behind us and we looked to see Bill walking closer.
I saw Tom looking at Bill, realising he was topless. He then looked at me to see his sweater around my waist.

"How kind of you, Bill." Tom said sarcastically angry.

I tilted my head as I looked up at Tom, what was he trying to say.

"She was bleeding out" Bill replied.

Tom still looking at me.
He said something in German I couldn't understand.

"Lass die Schlampe einfach bluten" Tom said to bill but still looking at me.

I knew he was talking about me but I didn't want to know what he said.

Bill didn't even reply. Just looked at him and I.

I walked away making sure I hit Toms shoulder. I could feel his eyes stare at me as I walked towards the bathroom.

I closed and locked the door. I had to take a shower, taking away all the blood from my wound. Cleaning myself from the touch of Tom. His hands and bruises on my skin.

I undressed as I looked into the mirror. I disgusted myself. I had let myself fall for his stupid trap. Him taking my innocence away just because he wanted to. And I had let him. I knew he was a kidnapper. Still I had let him. I looked at the bruise on my neck, wrists, legs, and of course the wound. It was like he left tattoos all over my body. Leaving handprints.

I looked at my face, the face he had kissed. Making me well up. I felt dirty from everything I had let him do to me, it was all my fault.

I punched the mirror as hard as I could making it crack. I let out a scream as I cried. My knuckles got red, but i didn't care.

I turned on the water in the bathtub. Making it cold. I wanted to feel the cold on my skin.

I could hear Tom and Bill talking in German outside, I knew they did it so I couldn't understand them. But there was no point anymore. I couldn't care.

I watched as the water rise in the bathtub.

I walked into the freezing water making my skin get goosebumps, I loved it. I laid down, watching my hair float around in the water. And the blood drip into the water. I closed my eyes. Wishing I would drown in the water. I couldn't stop thinking of  his big hands touching every inch of my body. Making me crumble together. Cringing of the feel of his touch. His voice whispering into my ears as I was stuck in his arms. I wanted to disappear into a void, to forget everything. I couldn't stop crying. Tears and blood covering my face.

I took a piece of glass that had shattered on the floor into my hands. I kept crying as I looked at the sharp point. I laid my wrist on the bathtub edge. Pointed the glass piece against my skin. Dragging it across my wrist, making me bleed. I choked on my tears as the blood gushed and dripping on the side of the bathtub.
The pain made everything go away, it was all I wanted. Those two seconds of nothingness, everything stops. Your heart, your lungs and finally your body.