A painter's game - Tom Kaulitz

Its not your fault

I was so overwhelmed from everything. I knew I could escape, but where would I go? I didn't know any of these people nor did I want to, everyone was talking German and I couldn't understand anything. Everything around me was fuzzy. I was dizzy and it was like time had stopped. Like my heart had stopped beating and my lungs had stopped working. I ran around but I couldn't see anything. I grabbed a light pole and stuck myself to it trying to figure out where I was.

"Help!" I let out a scream. I saw nobody approaching me. I felt like nobody even knew I was there, like I was a ghost.

I then took somebody's arm. It was a guy and he looked at me confused.

"I've been kidnapped" was the only thing I let out.

His face turned white as he grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the crowded place, I was relieved.

"Are you okay miss?" He asked me.

"Tom Kaulitz, he abused and kidnapped me" I said to him.

He looked around worried.

"Okay.. I Will try to help you." He said.

I smiled from the relief, was I going to be able to be free..

He dragged me to an old car and told me he was going to drive me to the police station. As we drove by the parking lot, I could still see his red car.

"That's his car! Please remember it." I said as I closed my eyes.

________

When I opened my eyes again, I realised we were at the police station, I was so happy. He parked the car and I ran out of as soon as possible. I was scared that Tom might pop up any second. Opened the door and there was a male in the perception. He noticed me.

"I-I was kidnapped" I yelled out.

His smile disappeared and got out from the perception.

"Wait here, we're gonna get help as soon as possible." He. Said.

I sat down shaken. I thought Tom would pop up any second. And that sent shivers down my whole body.

I saw a female maybe in her 40s coming closer.

"Hello miss, follow me." She said.

I followed her into a small room and she closed the door holding a few papers.

"You were kidnapped you say?" She said.

"Yes, by Tom Kaulitz, he abused me.." I replied.

Her face turned white. She looked around her, as if people could see.

"Okay miss.. what do you remember?" She asked.

I told her everything, I payed a lot of attention, gather information. I told her about him being manipulative, abusive and everything.

"Look, often when people has been kidnapped, they can't often remember what happened from the trauma, but you you remember."

"So?" I asked irritated.

"And you don't seem to have any bruises or scars on your body?" She said.

"No I-" I was about to show her but she interrupted me.

"Look we're both women here, but it's not okay to lie about serious stuff lie this while other woman has been raped and killed from kidnappers."

"That's what I'm trying to prevent!" I screamed.

She didn't get it.

"I was kidnapped!!" I screamed.

I was so frustrated that she didn't listen. I mean she was a stupid cop! Why do I have to be raped to get help.

"The man, who drove me here, he knows what his car looked like" I said.

"I'm sorry, the man didn't tell us anything."

She stood up and opened the door.

"Go now honey." She said to me.

I then realised. She was scared, of them, of Tom. I was so angry.

"You have to help me, he's going to kill me" I pleaded for her.

"I'm sorry." She let out.

Her words. They broke me down. I had no freedom, no escape. I was lost. My eyes was empty. I didn't know where to go next. I had nothing and no one. I looked at her one more time and then left the room.  I walked out of the police station. Just standing there outside looking at the sky. I was so empty and lost.

I heard a fast car racing thru the parking lot. I knew immediately who it was. The red shining car almost ran me over as I covered myself with my arms, as if that would help.

It stopped right infront of he and I could almost not think about what was happening. I realised Tom was running towards me with his black sweater. I looked up into his eyes in fear. He could almost not walk straight, he was drunk.
Suddenly I felt a hard punch hit my face and I fell to the wet cement ground. Rain was pouring down on the street and Tom stood over me. I didn't fight back. I just sat there looking down on the ground.

"Is this what you think will fucking help you?" He screamed.

I didn't reply.

"You're pathetic." He said as he grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the car. He pushed me on the red shining door macking my neck hurt. He aggressively grabbed my chin to look him in the eyes. I didn't want to. He had broken me. Tears were just running down my face aswell as blood.

"FUCKING SAY SOMETHING ESELIN!" Tom screamed in my face.

His breath smelled like alcohol and I was scared that if I made a sound, he would literally kill me, though I never had seen him actually kill someone. He opened the door and pushed me inside, my body landing on Bill who was sitting on the other side. My face landed on his lap. I was so weak. My whole body ache. My waist, neck an now face hurt like hell. So I slowly got up from his lap. I looked down and noticed blood was dripping from my stomach thru the bandage. Everything went black and all I could reemember was Bills sweet voice whispering.

"Eselin, it's not your fault."