A painter's game - Tom Kaulitz

It can never be right

Bills p.o.v

~~~~~~~

Days were long and droopy. We all couldn't stop thinking and worrying about her.

It didn't give me a second without seeing her limb body laying there on the bed unconscious, broken, torn.

My heart ache for how much I felt for her. She didn't deserve this at all. Her sweet green eyes shimmering when she was happy was all I wanted to see. It was the last glimpse of feeling I had seen of her before it happened.

Tom sat beside her bed, every second, minute, hour and day. He wouldn't leave her alone. He would watch her as she was unconscious on her bed. Seeing the worry in my brothers face was something I had never seen before.

Today was august 11 and she still hadn't woken up. We got really worried. What if she had given up? What if she was already gone? What would Tom do.

I could see the guilt and pressure every time he walked beside me. He didn't speak anymore, he was lost.

And I could understand.

We laughed and had fun while she was being.. well, raped.

How could we let that happen to her. I felt guilt as I knew I wasn't with her.

Feeling guilt as I didn't do anything when she was being torn into pieces by those disgusting creatures. Those creatures who was willing to torture an innocent girl for the pain of Tom. And they didn't even have time to explain. Mary had shot them in seconds.

That was good atleast, but there were more to kill, this wasn't the end. We had hired her to kill for us, to help us get rid of them. But they were everywhere, watching. That was why we moved to different places, they always catches us. We knew we had to move soon enough.

But Tom had now gone into depression. He wouldn't eat or talk for days. I felt worried for him. He was my brother, I couldn't see him like that. And I obviously couldn't see Eselin like that too.

As the days went by, we didn't have much hope. All Tom did was to sit next to her and cry. I had never seen him cry for a girl like this before. It was really different.

The only time he moved was when he would go to the toilet and when I walked past him,
He was empty. There was nothing left of him. His eyes would be puffy and his face red from the crying. He really loved her.

This wasn't really good. Tom was getting sensitive, it was good that he started having feelings like normal human beings but, that would mean he's turning weak, we could get killed easier.

Mary stayed with us, she also got sad, she really liked Eselin too. Her surrounding us made the whole room light up, it was something about her.

~~~~~~~~~

Toms p.o.v

I watched as her face was numb. Even if she was unconscious. Her face still filled with pain and agony. Her body weak and still from the suffering and torment. Bruises of reminders.
Reminders from them but also from me.

I had never felt so guilty in my life. I wanted to kill myself for what I had done to her. I had let her go thru hell and torture. I hadn't been there for her when she got ripped and damaged.

I had let her get killed. And I wasn't in time to save her.

I could lose everything.
Fucking everything.
But not her, oh god.
Not her.

She was the missing piece of me. She made me complete.

She felt like Home. I hated to admit it but she had been my home since I first met her years ago.

She was an artwork. She was what I admired.

She was tangled in my soul.

I sat down beside her while she was laying in her bed. The sound of her slow beating heart made me ache. The light was gone inside her. She was empty and blank.

As the days went longer and slower. All I did was cry and hope for her to wake up. To tell her how much I loved her.. to let her know I was here to save her.

I had promised her that nothing bad was going to happen, yet I lied.

I could never imagine the pain she had gone thru. But to loose her like this made me realise.

I remembered her smile when I kissed her the first time. I remembered feeling loved. I didn't know if I hated it or loved it. I wanted more of her. Of her touch and warmth. But only when I lost her was when I missed her the most. I didn't even want to kiss or touch her. I just wanted her there. To listen and exist. She was all I ever needed. Having he by my side made me feel something. Something I had never felt.

She was always so happy, full and, Alive. But now she was numb and felt like she was dead.

I laid down beside her. Landing my hands around her. Feeling nothing but her cold skin. Leaning my head on her chest. I could only hear her slow heartbeat. She was barley alive. I closed my eyes as a tear fell down my cheek and down to her pale skin.

I just wanted to see her alive. To see her even make a sound, movement, anything. I fucking missed it.

Every atom inside of me missed her. I didn't expect to ever get this attached to her.

I thought about her sweet voice. Her laugh. Her smile.

I knew I fell in love with her soul before I even got to touch her skin.

I knew I should never had catched her that night at the cafe. But I couldn't stop caring.  I cared a lot. And I still fucking cared.

I regretted everything so much. I didn't know what to do anymore.

All I wanted was to go back the night we first met. To make her feel right. To make everything right.

But it could never be right. It wasn't meant to be.