I can't love [Kazuscara]

Mission from the Fatui/Chapter 25

Scaramouche received a phone call from the Fatui... He asnwered the call...
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"Yes, this is the sixth of the Eleven Fatui Harbingers, I'm listening..."
He was still smiling and he hadn't realized that the kiss was over when he took the call.
"What? What happened? A mission already?"
He couldn't believe that he would have to stop this so soon, he wanted to spend more time with Kazuha.
He was so disappointed with having to go on a mission.

"Yes, 'already', you disappeared for weeks without even asking if you could, you know you have to work, and there is no excuse, you're a puppet and a Fatui."

"I- ah, yes, I'm very well aware that I have a duty and that I'm a puppet of the Fatui!"
He said in a sarcastic tone, he couldn't believe that he had to leave Kazuha.
He thought that maybe he could take Kazuha with him on the mission, maybe that way he wouldn't have to leave him for so long.
"You know what? I'll just take Kazuha with me!"
He started to think that maybe they could go on a mission together.

"No, you're not taking anyone with you, you shouldn't even be with someone neither have feelings, focus on your work and in your power, not in some human that can't life forever like you, they'll eventually die and you'll be alone again. That's why you're supposed to be emotionless."

"Is that an order?"
He said trying to hide the slight smile that appeared on his face, he was not willing to give up on Kazuha.
"How can you say that when, even now, I feel something for another human being?"
He hoped that the Fatui with him on the other line could feel the sincerity on his voice.
He wanted to be with Kazuha and he wasn't willing to change his mind.
"I can't be emotionless now that I'm in love."

Dottore took the phone from the other Fatui and spoke to Scaramouche.
"This is Dottore, second of the eleven Fatui Harbingers speaking in the phone right now. You hear me out, you're not taking anyone with you, and you're not going to be with no one, that's not what you've been created for."

Scaramouche was always afraid of Dottore, so he agreed with him.

Dottore's voice felt like a cold shower, he felt like he couldn't disagree with him because his tone of voice was so frightening.
"I hear you, Dottore.."
He was sad to have to let go of Kazuha that quick, he knew he was going to be alone again after the mission.
"But please, if I may say one thing.."
He started to gain the courage again after a few moments of silence.
"I want to be able to say that I experienced what love is, at least once in my life."

"You're not going to experience it ever again, are you hearing me right?!" Dottore was so mad.
"You're letting go of him, he's our enemy, we don't want you to be with him! Otherwise you'll have consequences, and very bad ones, so go back to how you were before."

"Yes, Dottore. I will go back to how I was."
He had to hold back from saying that he didn't want to.
He was so conflicted, he wanted Kazuha by his side more than anything in the world, but even he knew that he could never go against the Fatui.
"I am the sixth of the Eleven Fatui Harbingers, I'm here to do my duty, and I won't disappoint you, Dottore."
The words felt heavy coming out of his mouth. He couldn't believe he was agreeing with Dottore.

"Good, good! I knew you wouldn't disappoint me, I knew you're not that useless at the point of having feelings. Now get to your office, you have an important quest."

"Yes, Dottore, I'm going as soon as possible."
He ended the call and put away his phone, he looked at Kazuha once again.
"Look, Kazuha, I have to go on an important mission, I'll be gone for a while, so, you know."
He was hoping that Kazuha would beg him to stay, to tell him that he loved him so that he could break the rules once again and stay with him.
But Kazuha just nodded his head, no matter what he felt inside.