Lissy Romano

61| My vulnerability.

I recommend to listen to these four songs as you read this chapter...

1. Train Wreck
Song by James Arthur
2. Bruises
Song by Lewis Capaldi
3. Can We Kiss Forever?
Song by Kina
4. Georgia
Song by Vance Joy

Lissy Romano

When I opened my eyes I was at the clinic again. My hands were tied to the both sides of the bed. Panic washed over me.

What did I do?

As I looked around I saw Santino. He was watching me closely and every move I took made him smile a little.

But I had never seen him so sad about something. He was looking at me with so much worry and sadness in his face expression.

I tried to move my arms, but I couldn't. And I wasn't able to try harder. I felt weak. So, so weak.

"Santino, please untie me." I said as I looked at him, he shook his head after hearing what I had to say

Something in me told me that I hurt him so badly that he will never be the same Santino he used to be. He stood up from the chair that was next to my bed.

He came up to me and he wrapped his arms around me. I wanted to hug him too, but my arms didn't let me. I heard him sobbing. Sobbing so badly.

I've never seen or heard him cry. And sobbing was something I thought that I will never see or hear Santino doing.

"Santino..." I started, but he didn't stop crying

He stood back up again and wiped away his tears while looking at me with those eyes. That face expression.

I hurt him so badly this time. I did him so wrong. I've never wanted to do that, but I was so selfish to think that they would be okay without me.

To think that they would just live happily ever after. After I would have killed myself. After I cut my wrists.

After I cut my wrists I felt that relief. The relief that everything's finally going to be okay. But at the same time I started to think about my brothers. I remembered everything about them. The first impressions I got of them. The smiles and rolled eyes.

I started to rethink it, I wanted to stop the bleeding, but both of my arms were cut. And I bled out too fast. I blinked a few times and I was gone.

I don't remember anything afterwards. But somehow they found me. They brought me here and I am alive because of them.

"Santino..." I started again, but he stepped away from me and he walked out of the room

"Santino, I'm so so sorry..." I said as my voice cracked

He walked away. Away from such a bad sister like I am. He doesn't want me anymore. I broke his heart.

He was only good to me, but I did him so wrong. After everything I've done, he doesn't want me anymore. Tears filled my eyes.

I couldn't even wipe away my tears. My arms, I couldn't move them. I felt so weak. I regret that I did what I did. Or maybe I regretted that they found me.