The Past Awakened (Distorted reality book 1)

Chapter 43- Sunday

On my balcony, with my bible and tea in front of me, I try to do a bible study. It's not the same doing so without Maddy. She seems to understand it better. All I keep doing is getting frustrated with the text and wanting to quit. It doesn't make sense, and the chapters that do, they seem like simple stories. I don't see how people get anything more out of it, and even less how some read through these passages multiple times, let alone the whole bible. Maddy said she's on her third run-through. How?

How is she still getting more out of it? And how has she not gotten bored of it?

'She's lying.'

I don't think she is.

'Then she's smarter than you.'

Maybe, or maybe there's something I'm missing.

"Just put the book up. If you're not getting anything out of it, why read it? Better yet, how about we throw it out?"

"I'm not doing that."

What would I even tell Maddy if she asked next time we study together?

'Easy, you don't. You don't have to do a bible study just to hang out with her.'

I know, but still.

"Okay, but that doesn't mean you have to read it when you're not with her. Leave it for then."

Giving up for the day, I respond to Maddy's text before getting ready for the gym. I wish I could spend some time with her today, but with her plans already set, I'll have to settle with Tuesday. I notice myself getting frustrated at the thought. Not with her hanging out with Bailey, I'm glad she has someone in her life to lean on, but with the idea of her hanging out with Kalston.

'Get over yourself. Jealousy's not a good look on you.'

"Careful, you're letting your judgment get clouded. You're letting her get to you too much."

Realizing that I do need to be careful, I also know that I can keep myself in check without letting go of Maddy.

I can't give her up. Not when she's the only light I know. My sunshine.

'Careful not to become Icarus.'

"The Sun's only best to observe from afar. Too close and you'll get burned. Looking straight on, and you will only be blinded."

'Is she really worth it?'

Not wanting to listen to the advice, I push it aside for now. Ignoring it before heading out the door.

My fists pound the bag in front of me as sweat drips down my face and sokes through my shirt. I was supposed to move on to the treadmill over 15 minutes ago, but right now, this is the only thing keeping my temper from gaining ground. I thought I settled the jealousy at the house, but it seems to have only been growing in silence before coming back full force a moment ago. I'm supposed to step back from Maddy and I don't want to. I don't want things to stay as only friends, but I also know that I can't force things. It feels unfair to not have a choice in the matter. An anger inside of me increases with nowhere to go. So, I take it out on the bag in front of me instead of letting it be unleashed when it grows too much to bare any longer.

"Hey, dude, are you okay?"

A voice comes from my right. It belongs to a guy about the same age with dark red hair and seemingly dark eyes.

Are they green? Whatever, what does it matter to me.

He's getting done with one of the bikes, I noticed him only for a second prior.

"You're getting sloppy. See what she's doing to you."

One slip-up doesn't mean much. I've done it before Maddy.

'And how well did that go for you? You're lucky he's not here to see how much you've been failing.'

Keeping myself silent, he doesn't do so.

"You're taking it out on that bag pretty hard."

Not one to enjoy being watched and even less so for someone else to be in my business, I try to stay calm. To be polite.

"Uh, yeah. Just a lot on my mind I guess."

Purposely being vague and trying to head off before the guy tries to continue with the conversation, he doesn't take the hint.

"Nah, I get it. It's a girl isn't it?"

Okay, I guess we're talking then

'You could always ignore him and walk away. Pretend you didn't hear.'

"Or, just keep things vague. He'll get bored. Keep your cool."

Taking a moment to get a sip of my water, I respond before wiping my face off.

"I guess you can say that."

He gets off the bike and walks to about a couple of feet from me.

"Hey, I guess there are worst ways to clear your mind. Women can do that to you. I've never met one that's worth the trouble, but I hear there are some out there. Is she worth it?"

"Yeah."

Hoping that to be true, Madison seems to be worth all the trouble in the world.

"Then keep her. Take it from me, the ones that are worth it are hard to come by, so if she is, hold on tight to her. The name's Alex by the way. If you ever need to talk, I'm here every day at this time. Well, every day besides Wednesdays."

Appreciating his offer, I doubt I'll be needing it. His advice though has a way of helping me make my decision. I'm not going to give up so easily on Madison.

"Thanks, I'm Matthias."

Noticing him take pause, he seems to whisper something under his breath before speaking aloud again.

"Matthias, that's a pretty cool name. It's biblical isn't it?"

Never knowing where my name came from, I wonder if that's true. Though I wasn't ever Godly, what few things I remember of my mom, she was.

I'll have to look that up now.

'Why?'

"Even if it is biblical, doesn't mean anything."

Giving me a faint grin, Alex speaks one last time.

"I'll see you later then, Matthias. Hold on to that girl, okay? I hope your day gets better."

"Okay. You too."