Taking my lunch period in the library, it's where I can feel most comfortable. I'm writing, or at least trying to, but my attention keeps being drawn elsewhere. My eyes keep taking upward glances at the boy seated a few tables in front of me as something about him keeps pulling my curiosity.
Whispers begin to grow louder in my ears, I turn up my currently playing music to play over them.
Just block them out!
"You can't block me out, I."
My eyes dart back up, but instead of looking at who they were a moment ago, they lay on a new resident at my table. Someone I'm unsure if I should trust or not. He says he's a friend, but a part of me tells me he's lying.
Back to my writing, I try to get down the dream I had this morning. I was told to start recording them. I've been doing that, but also making sure to make a copy to keep for myself. If I'm not going to remember any of this, something I hate about the program, I want to have something from myself to look back on when the cycle starts again. I can't stand that parts of my life are to stay asleep and that I'm supposed to simply trust that it's 'for the best'.
Who are they to say what's best for me?
"You can always trust me."
My friend speaks again, but I continue to ignore him for the moment.
A hand on my shoulder making me jump, I turn to see my friend Jackosn and begin to relax. He gives me a grin that only Connor can. I put my music up as he sits beside me.
"The voices?"
He speaks about something only a few are aware of. His concern means more to me as he too struggles with them at times.
"Hey, Connor. And yeah, have they been bad on you this morning?"
Giving me a curious look before giving another grin, it's contagious as I give him one back. He has always had a way about him that helps things feel brighter even in the midst of trouble.
"How do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Tell us apart? It's quite impressive actually."
Seeming to be the only one that can, it's not all that hard once you get to know them. They all have their own personality and mannerisms. Though at times their behaviors can be similar, given time the small things will tell you who is in front of you.
"You're the only one with that kind of grin, and your eyes are more playful. Plus, Jackson's a bit more timid most of the time. And Alder, he has this authority to him at times. It's not always clear, but almost like it is always waiting under the surface. Plus he always tries to be more prim and propper while you and Jackson sometimes act a bit more on the whim."
Smiling again at him, I go to put my notebook up before he grabs it excitedly.
"Oooh, did you have another dream? Can I read?"
Connor asks with puppy eyes that I always find hard not to give in to.
"Yeah, but you remember the deal."
Giddy, he opens it up to the last page he was on.
"I know, I know. This journal's a secret. So, are you going tonight? Jackson wants to know. Of course, I hate going to the clinic without you, but Jackson most of all does. He says he likes you."
He takes a pause before speaking again.
"Oh, sorry, I wasn't supposed to say that."
Connor is a rambler which is another way to easily tell it's him and not the others. I find it cute how he very rarely has a filter. It gets him into trouble sometimes, but I think it's a good trait to have most of the time. At least it means you don't have to worry about where you stand with him. His confession about Jackson does surprise me a little. I always wondered, but with a broken radar for such things, it's nice to have actual confirmation about it.
"I will be."
Grabbing out a piece of paper from my bag, Connor's attention goes back to my journal.
"Hey," He speaks back up. "this is pretty sad."
Confused at what he's referring to, it takes me a moment to remember that I put one of my short stories in there the other days.
"Wait! You're not supposed to be reading that."
I try to grab the notebook back, but Connor holds it out of reach.
"Why not? It's really good, just a little bit more, please?"
He laughs before his demeanor shifts some and his eyes grow softer with remorse lingering in them.
"Sorry, here."
He's unable to look me in the eyes now when handing the book back.
"It's okay. I forgot I put that in there. It's not done, but you can read it once it is."
His expression lightens some, but I know it's not him anymore.
"Really? That would be cool."
"Here, I have to go. Mom's picking me up early, but I'll see you guys tonight."
I hand him a folded note before leaving.
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The Past Awakened (Distorted reality book 1)
غموض / الإثارة*Warning, topics of mental illness and trauma are brought up in this novel.* Living a calm life after years of struggling, Maddy meets two new gentlemen that shift things in her world. Issues she tried hard to put behind her begin to pop back into h...
