My lungs burn from the crisp morning air as my feet hit hard on the ground. Deciding to stop running for a moment, I try to calm my breath. The thoughts in my head are starting to become too much. I have to keep them in. I can't tell them to anyone. If I do, then what would they think of me? Would they be afraid of me or for me? The stories heard, what if I never get to come home? What if they claim me as broken beyond repair?
Am I depressed? Is that what this is?
Hoping a run would help clear my mind and satisfy the need for some kind of pain. I don't enjoy the self-torment, but at times I wonder if still it's become an addiction. If the smiles come easily only because the breakdowns in silence help to put everything in perspective. I guess that's why books with twisted stories have become one of my favorites to read. Hurt, it's become something I sort of crave at times. Like I can't feel unless I'm in pain.
The darkness seems to keep creeping its way to me. Begging to be let in. It frightens me to think what would happen if I let go. If I let it have its way and give in. I have to remind myself that being Christian, I can't let that happen. I have to stay fighting. I'm supposed to be light no matter how appealing the dark may seem.
My eyes catch sight of the long-time vacant house in our neighborhood, it seems as though it no longer is. With a truck in the driveway and the open windows now no longer giving clear site to the inside, it seems as though someone moved in.
I wonder who?
'What if it's a boy?!'
'That would be so cool. Almost like a novel romance. What if you two fall in love, and he takes you away from here? That would be amazing?'
That would be, but this isn't a book I'm reading. Things don't get solved so easily by some guy come to save you and take you on an adventure far away. No matter how much I want them to be.
'Least of all you.'
Yeah. I wouldn't be so lucky.
Trying for a moment longer to see if I can get a peak of who's moving in, I finally give up and head home. I still need to clean up before the bus gets here, but my eyes stay glimpsing back at the house.
It would be nice to have a new friend at least.
YOU ARE READING
The Past Awakened (Distorted reality book 1)
Mystery / Thriller*Warning, topics of mental illness and trauma are brought up in this novel.* Living a calm life after years of struggling, Maddy meets two new gentlemen that shift things in her world. Issues she tried hard to put behind her begin to pop back into h...
