Lando left our home the next day. He probably stayed with Max and Sophie until we had to go to the next race.
Luna was used to not having Lando around much so fortunately she didn't ask many questions.
I tried to keep strong in front of her but I cried as soon as she fell asleep. I cried every night, even if it was my decision, I hated that I had to choose between him and a career. I hate that he made me do that.
After I put Luna to bed, I went downstairs. I grabbed my laptop and walked to the living room. I didn't want to cry today, I wanted to work.
After two hours or something, there was a knock on the door. I sighed as I walked to the door. Please don't be Lando.
I opened the door, Sophie was standing in front of me. "Why didn't you call me?" She said as she shook her head. She wasn't mad, she was concerned.
"I just couldn't" she quickly wrapped her arms around me and hugged me for a long time.
"Is he staying with you?" I asked as I put a drink in front of her. She shook her head. I didn't really expect that, he probably just booked an hotel room or did he go to Monaco?
"So what exactly happened? I thought you guys were happy?" She turned her face to me.
"We just wanted different things, we drifted apart. He wants a big family, I want a career and definitely not another baby" she nodded as I was explaining everything. "You guys are still young, you can have both you know" she was right, it obviously wasn't the only reason we separated. "I am just not happy anymore Soph. He doesn't make me happy" I finally admitted the real reason, the reason I couldn't explain.
She had nothing to say about that, she just pulled me in a hug.
We cried for the rest of the evening until she left.
I was alone once again. I was hoping Lando would be with them. I wanted him to be safe, I didn't want him to do dumb things.
Just as I was about to text him, he texted me.
Lando 🧡 :
I miss you
Lando..
Don't make this even harder
Just know
If you ever wanna change your mind
I'll be waiting
I put my phone away and started crying again.
I thought it would be a night without crying but it was the hardest night I've ever experienced.
Was I making a mistake? Should I give things up just to be with him? It wouldn't make me happier but atleast I would be with him.
I walked to the garden and fell in the grass. I looked at the sky. There were no stars, it was such a cloudy night. Damn sky, why did you always tell our story, why can't you be full of stars?
It started raining, I didn't bother getting up. I just wanted to feel the rain on my skin, it was a better feeling than my tears running down my cheek.
