Max was staring at me during the entire flight. He was waiting until I explained what happened but I wasn't sure I was ready for it.
Explaining would also mean that it was a definite thing.
"How are you and Chloe?" I broke the silence. Talking about them may help me forget about Lando for a while.
"What about us?" He raised his eyebrow. Maybe this was just a hookup for him, it definitely was more than that for Chloe. "I don't know, I thought you guys had a thing?" He shook his head in response, he even laughed a little.
"We hooked up a couple of times yeah, but I like someone else" he said the last couple of words a little bit more quietly.
I titled my head, I never heard him talking about someone else, not after Kelly.
"Oh? Do I know her?" I said enthusiastically. It's been a while since he liked someone so I was definitely excited. "Maybe, but I'm not telling you" he said laughing. I rolled my eyes. "You're no fun" I pouted my lips but he wasn't giving in.
"Okay, you just have to say yes or no. Does she walk around the paddock?" If I kept asking him questions he would eventually give in, I knew him too well by now.
He sighed and crossed his arms, like he was preparing for this. "Yes" that answer made me even more excited, even though I felt a little bad for Chloe. "Will Christian kill you if you start dating her?" He chuckled a little at my question. "Not at all. Why are you asking that question?" He frowned but I looked at him like it was the most obvious thing. "So it's someone he likes and he doesn't like many people" probably only people who worked for Red Bull if I was honest.
I could immediately cancel out almost the entire paddock.
My explanation made Max look outside. He probably realized I could easily figure it out by now. I decided to stop asking questions, I would just observe him during the next weekend.
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I took the long ride home. I wasn't ready to see Lando but on the other hand I was ready to fight for what I wanted.
I lived in his shadow for years now and I was ready to step out.
I opened the door and let out a big sigh. I could do this. Lando was laying on the couch, he didn't even look up when I walked in.
We used to jump in each other arms, we used to kiss all evening, we used to do a lot of things.
I sat down next to him. I was still so attracted to him, I still loved him very much. "How's Luna?" I broke the silence. He finally looked up at me. "Good, she's asleep already. There's food in the fridge if you're hungry" he said. He was really husband material and anyone would be happy to have him.
I got up and walked to the fridge. I quickly grabbed some food and put it in the oven.
Not long after, Lando walked in the kitchen as well. He put his hand on the counter and looked at me. "You've already made your decision" he said. It wasn't a question, it was a statement.
I sighed as I looked down.
The younger me would say I'm stupid, choosing a career over a guy.
But it wasn't just a career, it was more than that. "And so did you?" I looked up at him. He shrugged his shoulders. "If you don't want another child then I'm fine with that but I can see you're not happy and I don't know how to make you happy anymore" he sighed a little. I didn't have an answer to that either.
I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around him. He did the same and kissed the top of my head softly. I wish the butterflies would've came back in that moment, but they didn't.
The saddest end to a relationship is one where you have to break up with somebody when you're still in love with them. It sounds bizarre but it happens, because the truth is, as powerful as it may be, being in love doesn't always mean you're happy and I wasn't happy.
