You Changed Me | Evan Buckley (9-1-1) [Book 1]

40: You Got This

"How's our Buck?" Hen asked as we sat around the table at the firehouse. It's been nearly a month since the accident and 2 weeks since I started working again. It started off really well, until the last 2 shifts. "He's been having a hard time with the baby the last couple days." I said as my phone rang. I excused myself from the table and jogged downstairs.

"What's wrong?" I said into the phone. "She won't stop crying. You need to come home." Buck's tired voice echoed through the phone along with Evie's cries. I shook my head, "I can't leave early again Buck. Just lay her in her crib and turn the lights out." I instructed him. "I can't just let her cry!" He stressed, I could hear his voice cracking as if he was about to cry.

"Okay. I'll be there in a few." I hung up the phone and returned to the group. "Bobby, you know how much I love you right?" I smiled sweetly at him. "He won't learn if you baby him." Bobby smiled back while shaking his head. "True. Buck can put on his big boy pants and learn how to handle baby Buckley." Hen added in.

"He's just frustrated and scared of being a bad parent. Which he isn't, but he doesn't see that." I defended Buck. "Go. You better come back though!" Bobby told me as I jogged down the stairs.

————————————————————————

I unlocked the door to the apartment and stepped inside. Buck was sitting at the table with Evie crying in his arms. I set my bag down by the door and took her from his arms. "I don't know what to do!" Buck sighed out in frustration. I shook my head, walking into Evie's bedroom and laying her in the crib. "You need a nap sweet girl." I said, softly pressing a kiss to her head before shutting the light off and cracking the door shut.

"You can't just let her cry in there." Buck said. "Evan, sometimes you have to. The crying can be overwhelming and it is okay to lay her down and take a minute to calm down." I said, running my hand through his messy hair. He looked up at me. "Sometimes babies need a minute too. See how she stopped crying? She was just tired."

"Please just take time off and stay home with me. I can't do this alone anymore." He said shaking his head. "Babe," I sighed, taking a seat next to him, "I would if I could, but you know that I'm on thin ice with the department. I was already out for the first 2 weeks that you were home." I explained.

"They would understand though!" He argued with me. "Look, I have to go finish my shift. I will see you in the morning. If you need anymore help call Karen or Carla." I said standing up. "Alissa?" Buck stopped me from leaving by grabbing my hand.

"Yes?"

"I seriously need you to stay home with me." He sighed. "Evan! I have to work. You got this, you can do it." I said pulling my hand away from him.

————————————————————————
1 month later
————————————————————————

"Thank you guys for all your help the last couple months." I smiled. "Oh Lissa, you know we always got you and Buck." Hen smiled back before trailing off to find Karen.

We were currently at Bobby and Athena's for a barbecue and to celebrate Buck passing his physical exam to start working again.

I was beyond proud of Buck to say the least. The last couple weeks I was training with him and to think that 2 short months ago he was pinned underneath a fire truck was insane to say the least. He worked hard to get to this point.

"I'm lucky Cap. Alissa keeps me going. I really love her." I heard Buck say from a couple feet away. I smiled to myself, making my way over to where he and Bobby stood speaking.

"I was just talking about you." He smiled, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me closer. "I'm glad you two have each other. I'm also glad you brought Evie along." Bobby said, taking Evie from my arms and walking away.

"I'm proud of you Evan." I said, turning to face him. "I uh—I couldn't-," Buck started coughing mid-sentence. I rubbed his back, thinking it would pass shortly. "Evan are you okay?" I asked.

His face turned pale as he stumbled backwards before throwing up blood onto my shirt and passing out.

————————————————————————

"A pulmonary embolism?" I asked the doctor who just finished explaining what happened to Evan. I fully understood what happened to him, I just couldn't face that he almost died again. "How? Why did he get these clots?" I asked shaking my head at the information. "It's unclear."

"He just got a clean bill of health last week? This came out of nowhere." Maddie chimed in. "Did it? No pain or tenderness in the leg?" The doctor asked. I watched as Buck's face fell. I immediately filled with rage. "I thought I just pulled a muscle or something. I've been training with my wife for my LAFD recertification test." He tried to explain. I shook my head.

"That's not surprising. Training can lead to dehydration which can cause the clots." The doctor explained to my idiotic fiancé. "Cool, I'm alive when can I get out of here?" I scoffed at Buck's comment. The doctor explained that he was being kept overnight for further testing before leaving the room.

"O-okay, Alissa, Maddie, let me explain." Buck started to ramble. "Evan Buckley!" I rolled my eyes at him. "You should've told me or Alissa! We're here to help you." Maddie said, disappointed in her brother.

"Pulmonary embolism! You could've died! Again!" My eyes swelled with tears. "Alissa I'm right here. Look at me. I am alive, you are alive and Evie is alive. Our family is alive." He said looking into my eyes. "Evie, Buck. We have a daughter. You owe it to her to be as healthy as possible. She cannot grow up without her dad!" I croaked out, tears rolling down my eyes.

Maddie wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly as I cried. "I'm sorry. I really thought I just pulled a muscle." Buck sighed.

"You know, at first, I didn't understand what you meant when you said you love me too much." I sat next to him on the bed. "I understand now. I love you too much. If that's not enough for you, then Evie loves you too much. We need you Evan." I sobbed.

"I want to actually be your wife. I want to marry you and take a honeymoon and have more kids and grow old." He wrapped an arm around me. "We will do all of that. I promise you." Buck said, pressing a small kiss to my lips.