Cover Girl

𝖿᥆r𝗍ᥡ-𝖿і᥎ᥱ - mᥲ𝗍𝗍ᥱ᥆

5

Her funeral is next week. 

I've barely recognized her loss.  I hoped that if I'd ignored it long enough that I would suddenly just be okay.

But I was far from okay.

I put a picture of us on my desk about a month before it happened.  We were simply having coffee at a bad cafe, but it was still one of my favorite dates.  She seemed so joyful and carefree that day.

But it was all an act.

I didn't know how I couldn't see it.  I couldn't see everything she was going through.  I just really hoped she was telling the truth to me not adding on that pain.

I was also trying to not shut out Faye for knowing about her arm.  It wasn't her fault and she had no reason to tell me, but I wish I'd just known.  If I'd known I could've helped.  I could've prevented it.

A knock on the door took me out of my thoughts.  I turned around to unsurprisingly see Ethan.

He immediately grew a look of concern on his face but didn't say anything as he walked up to me.

"I'm okay," I insisted, but instead of listening, he just cupped my face and wiped the few stray tears.  "Ethan I'm fine."

"Stop saying that.  There will never be any shame in crying or not being okay," he comforted, continuing to rub his thumbs over my cheeks.

I dropped my head to his chest and let out a defeated sigh.  He wrapped his arms around my body.   His familiar scent invaded my nostrils.

"I want to be okay," I broke, "It's so hard.  She's gone.  I will never see her again  I just want to say goodbye."

"You're not alone, I'll always be here for you. I know it hurts," he whispered into my ear.  "You will be okay someday, I'll make sure of that."

The thought made me smile, but I also felt guilty.  As much as I wanted to be happy and okay, I felt guilty that Brielle wouldn't be here to share the joy with me.  I didn't seem right.

I sniffled one last time before moving away.

"I don't want to cry.  We only have a couple of days left of break.  Let's go do something."

"Whatever you want."

************

That's what led us to the arcade.

We used to go all the time as kids, but our time there grew less and less as we both got older. I wasn't sure why we stopped going, but I could already tell that it was good to be back.

I tried to convince Ethan to let me pay for his ticket since it was my idea, but after a long "fight" we both just decided to pay for our own.

We both walked over to the games shoulder to shoulder. Ethan wanted to play basketball first. I knew he would win. Even though I'm fairly good at football, basketball had never been a strength of mine. I could never seem to make it in the basket, let alone make It with a billion people guarding me.

"I'm gonna win," he boasted, putting his card into the machine.

"Probably," I responded, mimicking his actions.

the music started playing and the basketballs fell into our reach. I grabbed a ball from my side and shot it, missing miserably. I looked over to my right to see than effortlessly making every shot.

I threw another one and the ball flew far to the left.

I looked back over to Ethan and got the idea. I shifted a step over to where he was at arm's length and I could still shoot. As I failed to make baskets, my foot came up and kicked Ethan out of the way. He stumbled back and looked at me. I just looked back over to my machine and tried to make more baskets.

Then the basket started moving.

I groaned loudly, throwing my head back. Ethan laughed and moved back to his spot, making even more balls into the hoop.

I kicked him again. He barely stumbled. He just started laughing again and kicking me back.

"Why are you kicking me? You're winning!" I yelled.

"Because it's fun," he responded simply, not bothering to take his eyes off of the basket.

The loud buzzer went off signaling the end of the game.

26-0

Ethan cheered and took his tickets out of the machine. I yanked my two pity tickets out in frustration.

"You'll get the next one," Ethan smiled triumphantly.

**********

I didn't get the next one.

Or the one after that. Or the one after that.

I may have lost my arcade charm. The only one I "won" at was the wheel that you spin for tickets. I only won 100 tickets, but Ethan won 75 so he's a loser and I won.

We were at the prizes stand. All I could get were a couple of pieces of candy and a slinky.

The games were clearly rigged.

Ethan, however, was able to get anything. He chose a huge tan bear and a foam football. the worker struggled to get the bear off the shelf and was clearly annoyed that Ethan took it. He handed both items to Ethan who grinned widely. I mimicked his smile and we both left the building.

I drove us both home and Ethan inevitably came to my house. We both headed up to my room. Ethan jumped onto my bed and set the bear on it.

"You might want to take that home before you forget it," I suggested, taking a seat beside him on the bed.

"Take what home?"

"Your bear"

"It's not my bear."

"Yes, it is."

"Nope," he smiled, rolling onto his stomach.

"Then who's is it?"

"Yours."

"I don't want your pity bear, Ethan."

"Take the pity bear."

"I don't want the pity bear."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't."

"Fine," he concluded, standing up and taking the bear, 'Then I'll just take thi-"

"Wait," I sighed. Ethan hummed, fighting back his smirk, "Give me the pity bear."

Ethan grinned widely and jumped beside me on the bed, handing me the bear.

And for once since Brielle died, it all felt okay.

I felt okay.

QOTD: What habit do you want to break?

Word Count: 1053