I don't think I've ever seen so much joy in Faye's eyes, for the time I could see her eyes. It really made me feel like I did something right. For once in my life, I partially caused her joy.
Now, I was in the room with Ethan with Faye and Brielle in the other room.
We were currently watching a movie that I was hardly paying attention to. My mind was all over the place. Faye looked so happy today, which should've been making me feel overjoyed right now, but all I felt was empty. I don't know where the feeling came from, or when it showed up, but I just felt empty. I couldn't pinpoint it.
My vision gradually began to blur. I began picking at my skin, attempting to distract my mind, but my hands shook too much to even keep hold of the skin.
All I could hear at that moment was Ethan tapping his finger on the mattress.
Tap tap tap tap tap.
"Please stop," I said, as calm as I could
"Stop what?" he asked, still continuously tapping.
"Stop tapping your finger please." I shivered
"Alright dude, chill out," he told me, putting his hand in his lap.
I still heard it.
Tap tap tap tap tap.
I covered my ears.
Tap tap tap tap tap.
I squeezed my eyes shut.
Tap tap tap tap tap.
My hands began to shake.
Tap tap tap tap tap.
A tear rolled down my cheek.
Tap tap tap tap tap.
"Please stop tapping," I whispered pathetically.
Tap tap tap tap tap.
"What do you mean? I'm not anymore," he remarked, not taking his eyes off the TV.
Tap tap tap tap tap.
"Please," I whimpered. This time he glanced over at my distressed state.
Tap tap tap tap tap.
"Oh," he hesitated. "Okay, is it okay if I touch you?" I barely nodded, but he caught up on it. He took the hand from my left ear and placed it on his chest. The tapping grew louder.
Tap tap tap tap tap.
"Can you feel my heartbeat?" he asked cautiously. I nodded again, confused about where this was going. "I want you to focus on that, okay?" I nodded for the third time, trying to focus on the rhythm.
Tap tap tap tap tap.
When my hand began shaking and grew too weak to stay on his chest, it fell limp into his lap. He sat behind me, wrapping his arms around my chest. Tears fell fast down my face, but he just hugged me, without judgment or hesitation.
Tap tap tap tap tap.
"It's gonna be okay, I've got you. You're safe. I promise." A sob left my body, causing him to hold me tighter.
Tap tap tap tap.
I grabbed one of his hands, squeezing it tightly. Surely it hurt, but he didn't show it. Once I loosened the grip, he squeezed mine in comfort.
Tap tap tap.
I felt safe.
Tap tap.
I felt cared for.
YOU ARE READING
Cover Girl
Teen Fiction"I had always fit into people's standards. Perfect. People don't tell you how much it sucks to be perfect. They expect happiness. They expect a put-together life, but my life was anything but happy and put-together. Some days were great, but mo...
