Cover Girl

𝗍ᥕᥱᥒ𝗍ᥡ - 𝖿ᥲᥡᥱ

Happy Chapter 20 y'all

"He said 'Hi' to me Kai! How does that correlate in your mind to him 'undressing me'?" I yelled back.

I was mad. Really mad. He made such a big deal out of nothing.

"He shouldn't be talking to you in the first place! I don't need him flirting with my girlfriend!" I don't like how he said I was 'his'. It seemed like he was taking possession of me. Like he owned me.

"You don't get to push me around like that! How is it my fault that he talked to me? I don't see how that makes sense!"

"Does that matter?" Yes. "You're mine, not his. Do you understand?" He asked, grabbing my chin, and forcing me to look him in the eyes. I hated it. At this moment, I hated him so much.

"You don't own me, Kai. You don't get to blame me for some stranger talking to me." I seethed through clenched teeth.

His eyes darkened. He let out a huff of rage, pushing me away towards my bed, and walked out, opening my bedroom door, and slamming it on his way out.

I sat back on my bed and let out a sigh, resting my head in my hands.  I looked down at my leg to a scratch from the impact of hitting my bed, which was now beginning to bleed. I grabbed a couple of tissues, cleaning it up before my thoughts were cut short by a buzz of my phone.

Charlie:
Are you okay?
Kai texted me
He was mad

Me:
Yeah I'm fine

I've told that lie so many times that it became a part of my reality.

Charlie:
Are you sure?

Me:
Yes, I'm sure.

Charlie:
You know you can talk to me right?

Me:
Charlie, please just leave it

I sighed again, leaning back into my bed.  I could never tell if Nathan really cared, or if it was a pity.  I don't want pity.  I didn't need people's sorrows.  They can take their sorrows and shove them up their-

Charlie:
Okay

I felt confined in my room.  I needed fresh air, but the sky had already dimmed.

I sighed and walked downstairs, glancing out the window.  The street lights were on, illuminating the roads, just enough to walk.  But, just to be safe, I grabbed my keys and pepper spray, having them at my ready.

I began walking through the peaceful neighborhood, a light breeze flowing through my hair.

I still felt my hands slightly shaking, though I wasn't sure if it was due to the cold or some other unidentified reason.

Before I had the time to think, I was back at my house, and let out a breath.

I walked up to my bedroom and sat on my bed, looking at the windowsill, drowning myself in thought.

Some people want to be popular, some people want to be rich, and all the while being both, all I really wanted was to be wanted.  I want people to look at me normally.  I want to be the first thought and not the last.  I want to be able to think freely.  I want to be able to speak my mind.  I want to be able to take time to think.  I want to be loved the way I love. I want people to care.

I just want people to stay.

But at some point, they all leave.  They all find someone better after not getting what they wanted from me.  And soon it'll be Kai and I will be that typical heartbroken teenager, crying on their bedroom floor, wondering what they did wrong.  But I don't want to be that girl.  I would do anything not to be that girl.  I can't handle it.  I can't handle another heartbreak.  It's too much.  It's all too much.  I don't want to do it anymore.  I just want to disappear, never to be thought of again.

********

I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling the dried tears on my face. I wanted to cry again, but I didn't want the numb feeling to drown me. I wanted to breathe, but I normally felt suffocated.

I grabbed my phone and earbuds before quietly making my way downstairs.

I open the basement door and get enclosed in guilt. I haven't been down here nearly as much as I should be.

I make my way down the stairs and turn on the lights, blinding myself.

I walk over to the treadmill and turn it on, getting on, and start at a walk. The walk slowly turns to a speed walk, then a jog, then before I know it, I'm sprinting like a murderer was chasing after me.

Al sound gets drowned out by the blasting music coming from my earbuds.

At this moment, I felt completely at peace with myself. Nothing was wrong in the world. Kai and I were perfect, I was skinny, I was successful, my mom loved me, I loved me. At that moment, I felt happy.

I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to step off the moving rubber underneath me. I didn't want to hear the sound of the door opening. I didn't want to hear the sound of the creaking steps as each one was stepped on. I didn't want to see the woman out of the corner of my eyes that I'd feared forever. But I did.

"Faye, what are you doing?" My mother asked sternly.

"I woke up a while ago and couldn't go back to sleep. I just came down here," I told her, slowing down my speed until the machine eventually stopped.

"Keep it down. I'm trying to get my beauty sleep. Do a plank or something, you need a flatter stomach anyway," she complained.

"Sorry mom," I whispered

"As you should be. If you interrupt my sleep one more time I will be much worse than this. You're lucky I'm in a good mood."

"Y-yes ma'am."

"Good. I'm leaving now. You better be quiet if you want to keep your sanity."

I nodded, causing her to walk away. I didn't want to stress her anymore, so I walked up the stairs about 10 minutes after her. In those ten minutes, I sat and wondered what I did wrong. I came to the conclusion that it was everything. I've done everything wrong.

**********

Two knocks on my door sounded, bringing me out of my dreams and back to my reality.

"Come in," I called, getting out of my bed and grabbing leggings and an almost crop top in lilac.

Matteo walked through the room and sat on my bed.  I waited for him to go on, but he stayed silent, as did I as I walked into my bathroom to change.

I walked out, seeing him still on my bed.

"Do you need something?" I asked, putting things in my bag.

"No," he simply stated, "I just wanted to be in the presence of someone."

"Are you okay?" I questioned softly.

"Yeah," he hesitated, "Yeah I'm fine."  I sat next to him after my bag was put together, sitting silently.

"Is something wrong?" I pried.

"I'm just worried for Ethan," he admitted. I saw the pain in his eyes. "His dad is back, and yesterday he seemed so stressed about it. I was stressed for him, even though I know they'll get along great. It just hurt. Seeing him in pain."

He really cares. Like a lot. It's sweet, to see him with so much concern just for his best friend. I've never seen him with this much apprehension for anyone.

"He'll be fine," I comforted as best I could.

"Yeah."

QOTD: Who is your celebrity crush?

Word Count: 1293