I Didn't Know • Tomboo •

• Chapter 40 •

He shoved ice cream in my face and I heard everyone laugh. Slowly my vision went blurry again.

...

I groaned, I had this throbbing pain in my head. I pinched the top of my nose bridge and sat up.

Why would I dream something like that of me and Tommy?

Wait....what was the dream again?

Brownies. Yeah, we were eating brownies? Wait, no- It was some cold treat...ugh- What was it...

Tommy POV

I burst awake as I felt a wave of heat go to my wrist. I groaned and gently rubbed it. The doctors said they were side affects. That the waves would go away in about two weeks. They happened very randomly.

I always wondered if it was cause he was thinking about me.....Or if we were somehow still connected...

But, I know it's just my guilt and failure.

Right now I was layed down in Wilbur's bed. I'd spent the night after we ate pizza and watched a movie. I sat up and turned the lamp on. Wilbur was asleep on the air matress by the bedside.

I sighed looking up at the ceiling, I wonder if when we meet....

No, the odds are so unlikely.

But...

"What're you doing?" Wilbur yawned sitting up, "Turn the lamp off."

"Does history really repeat itself?" I asked.

He furrowed his brows, "What?"

"History. They say it, repeats. Do you think there's a chance that...when we meet, we'll be soulmates again?" I mumbled staring off at the ceiling.

"Tommy....The chances of that are like, one to, a trillion or something." He sighed.

I smiled a little, "What about that, one? That one time..."

He got up and sat on the bed, "I wouldn't get my hopes up."

"Right." I gulped, but then smiled, "I think the doctors are liars."

"What?"

"Heat. With soulmate marks, it was always a generally good thing. Like, when we did something nice for one another, showed affection, or said something kind, even thought about each other- We got warm or hot. And if you made them sad, or they were feeling down, or were unhealthy- We'd get cold." I explained still smiling.

"Okay..." He didn't seem to understand, "So what?"

I rolled my eyes, "So wouldn't my wrist be cold if I'd failed him? Wouldn't I get chills instead of heat? Because I believe we're still connected..."

"Tommy, I thi-"

"I'm not crazy. Or lovesick, desperate, or blind, or even being childish. I experienced what it's like to have a soulmate. I know what everything is supposed to mean."

"Tommy, you're just trying to cope. So I get it. But, please don't give yourself hope- When we both know none of it's true. Now go to bed, yeah?" He asked with a frown.

I finally looked at him, "Or maybe I'm just tryna cope." I gently traced my finger over the red paracord bracelt Ranboo had bought me. It now covered my soulmate mark so I didn't have to see it. "Sorry."

"No, no, it's fine." He smiled sadly and tucked me back in.

I layed back down and sniffled, "Wilbur?"

"Mhm?" He hummed.

"I know it took me forever..." I teared up.

"What is it?"

"I- I do....I do-"

"I know Tommy. We all know. He knew...It's okay. There will be others." He smiled sympathetically.

I nodded and softly cried, "I did love him."

He kissed my forehead, "I'm sure he knows."

I turned over, my back facing him. I silently cried as I let my feelings sink in. I heard him lay back down and then the lamp light, go out. I drowned in my own self pity and sadness. My failure and guilt. My love.

I loved you, Ranboo. A man, yeah- A man. Not a girl, not straight, but it shouldn't have mattered. Because I used to be your fate. I failed...yeah, I know. But, I still think you'd be pretty proud to know. Proud to hear me say, that I love you, and with me...that's finally okay.

1,254 words
See ya <3