Amber & Honey ~ [DR3]

37. Liar

"Fell so deeply into it, it was all so innocent" - because I liked a boy, Sabrina Carpenter

"Girlfriend?!" I squeak at the same time the stunned "Girlfriend?" Leaves Lando's lips. My heart is pounding in my chest, eyes open wide at the words. Daniel's never called me that before. Not even alone. He shouldn't be calling me that in front of Lando, or anyone here for that matter.

Sickness pools in my stomach as my wide eyes settle on Lando. He seems to be computing the use of the word, thinking about it hard, a frown on his face as his eyes flick between Daniel and myself. My eyes are just fixed on him.

I'm trying (and possibly failing) to semi-hold it together.

Daniel's hand has dropped from my knee and I'm frozen in shock looking to my little brother who, the longer the silence trails on, the further his face twists up in confusion. I can see the information racing through his mind, eyebrows furrowed, lips slightly pouted as he tries to understand what's been said. I'm just trying to understand why I haven't told him myself.

"Is this a joke?" Lando finally asks, looking confused between us as his voice breaks the silence around the table. I can feel all the blood draining from my face, the nerves running through me rendering me speechless.

Daniel eventually huffs running a hand over his face. I really wish I was the one who told him alone and not in front of his friends and people he knows. "It's not a joke." Daniel confirms, I'm glad of his involvement, I can't bring myself to speak yet. I just shift uncomfortably in my spot.

I wish it was a joke. It should be a joke. This whole situation is a joke and I've got myself into it.

"No, it has to be a joke." Lando repeats to himself, this time his eyes falling to me, and I feel like I could throw up. All conversation around us has dried up and I can feel the eyes around the table on us. They shouldn't, we should be alone for this, Lando shouldn't be finding out this way. Anything is better than this.

"It's not." I confirm, my voice weak, my eyes can barely meet his. I'm scared of what I'll see if I look at them too closely. Daniel's hand reaches for me again under the table, his fingers interlocking with mine, thumb running over the skin of my hand. It's a small comfort all things considering but it somehow feels even more forbidden than it did before.

"No it must be, because if he was your boyfriend you'd have told me when I asked you if there was something going on." Lando pauses in his place. His accent reflects Mums more strongly than it did five minutes, something it always seems to do when he's mad at something, or someone. My throat has gone dry with his words. He's right.

"I specifically asked you Amber." The hurt in his words make my eyes squeeze shut, nodding, a sinking feeling in my stomach. He did ask (several times, both joking and not) and I did lie. I knew I was lying when I said there was nothing going on. "So you've lied to me." He snaps and I just close my eyes with a shake of my head, not in denial but just disbelief. My eyes flicker closed with the accusation. Maybe if I squeeze them closed tight enough this won't be happening?

Silence echos around us, nobody at the table says a word, I'm almost too scared to breathe. I don't know what to do for the best.

Do I defend myself? Ask to speak with Lando alone? Admit everything at the table here in front of everyone? Half the table already know anyway. My cheeks heat and redden and I'm glad of the reapplication of makeup before heading here. At least I can try to hide my mortification that this is indeed happening right here, right now.

"What-when did this even happen?" He asks looking between us confused. Again, I don't offer an explanation, Daniel has to take over. His hand squeezes mine again.