How I Lost You (Niam Fanfic) *Sequel to 'How I've Loved You'*

Chapter 4

~~~~~ ZAYN'S POV ~~~~~

"You're nothing. You're worthless. You don't deserve to be alive." My legs gave way and I fell to my knees. I looked up at Niall with tear filled eyes. He had this blank expression, his bright, blue eyes had turned a milky grey, almost as if he had no heart or soul. All of a sudden, maniacal laughter echoed through the darkness and I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.

***********

I awoke with a jolt and shot up from my bed. I gripped my chest and tried to calm myself down. My breathing was heavy and I could feel sweat dripping down my bare chest. I ran my hands down my face, wiping some of the sweat off. My hair was covering a little less than half of my eye lids and I had started to grow a bit of a stubble. I looked up from my bed and saw a figure standing by the doorway.

"Another nightmare?" Perrie asked smoothly. She leaned on the doorway, her arms were crossed and she was giving me a sly smirk. "Yeah," I scoffed. "They're getting worse." She sat next to me on the bed and wrapped her arm around me. Perrie was my really my only friend in here. In this hellhole that Harry and Louis, the bastards, put me in. She was always here when I was feeling down and she completely understood what I was going through. It was really nice to have someone to talk to when I needed to let something out. "What happened in this one? Was it him again?" By "him" she meant Niall. I still hadn't fully got over him yet. He was still my everything, even if he did hate me. "Yeah. He said I was worthless and I should just die."

"Don't listen to him, Zayn." Perrie comforted, rubbing circles in my back. "He's not real. He's just up here." She said, tapping my forehead with her finger. I quickly shook my head. "I know that... It just seems so real, you know? Like he actually means the things he says." Her arm found its way around my shoulder and she kissed the side of my head. "Everything's alright, Zayn. It was just a dream and it's always going to be just a dream. Remember that, okay?" I nodded weakly.

Perrie always knew just what to say. I was proud to call her a friend. A real friend. Not one that throws you into an insane asylum for no reason. My mind immediately flashed back to Harry and Louis. Just seeing their faces got me so mad. I my hands curled up into fists and I started gritting my teeth. I didn't belong in here. Neither does Perrie. Yeah, she had had a tough past, but that's behind her now.

When she was younger, her father used to beat her mercilessly. Even for the smallest of things, her father wouldn't let her go without a bruise or two. Eventually, she couldn't take it anymore and tries slitting her wrists in an attempt to kill herself. She failed, obviously. That's when she met this boy named Ryan days after. He was her everything. He comforted her when she was sad, held her tight when she was lonely. He was the only reason she stayed alive. Years later, her parents had finally saw the white scars on her wrist and threw her in here, thinking she needed help. When all she really needed was love.

She hasn't harmed herself since then, but the thing that breaks my heart the most is that she never got to say goodbye to Ryan. For all he knows, Perrie had just vanished off the face of the earth. It left my mind to wonder if he would wait for her to reappear or if he would just move on to another girl.

There was nothing wrong with either of us. We were just misunderstood.

I got up from the bed and threw on my grey sweatshirt. "I'm hungry, let's go have breakfast." I announced. Perrie had no objections and followed me out of the room.

Walking into the cafeteria always unnerved me. Seeing all these people doing all sorts of crazy things. Banging their heads against the tables, rocking back and forth with their knees tucked behind their arms, people talking and whispering dark things to themselves. And then there was Perrie and I. We were probably the only two patients in this place that could have a conversation for more than five minutes without breaking down or something.

We grabbed some trays off of the stack and held them up to the cafeteria lady, hoping for something that wasn't our usual slop. However, that didn't happen.

Perrie and I got our daily glob of oatmeal and sat down at one of the tables. "So how have you been?" I asked her, taking a spoonful of oatmeal and putting it in my mouth. I made a sour face at the stale taste, but ultimately forced it down. "I've been fine," she sighed, poking at the contents of her bowl with her spoon. Her cheek was resting on her hand and she had a tired expression on her face.

"You don't look fine." I said, studying her. She threw her spoon down and stood up from her seat. "What's that suppose to mean?!" She asked, flustered. I put my hands up, in a way of defense of some sort. "Nothing! Nothing! You just look a bit tired, is all." She sighed and sat back down. "I... I just miss my family. I miss, you know, living."

"You want to go back to your family? The ones who threw you in here in the first place? Why would you ever want that?" I had just forcefully shoved another spoonful of breakfast down. "Well it's not like they knew it was three years ago, Zayn! They were just doing what they thought was best for me." She ended in barely a whisper. "Perrie," I started, grabbing her hand, "Only you know what's best for you. You make the decisions in your life, not them. And I ---" My sentence was cut short by one of the guards booming voices coming from across the hall.

"Zayn Malik! You have visitors!" Visitors? I raised my eyebrow in confusion. Who would want to visit me? I looked over to Perrie, who nodded to me, urging me to go. I felt her hand slide out of mine as I walked over to the guard. He grabbed my shoulder and led me to the visitors room.

And sitting right there, at one of the tables, were the only two people in the room.

Harry and Louis.

~~~~~ AUTHOR'S NOTE ~~~~~

SORRY IT'S SO SHORT, BUT I THOUGHT I'D ADD A BIT OF ZAYN'S STORY IN HERE.

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