Back to Where We Started From (Miracle)

Chapter Eighty-Nine

Jack woke up when he felt Julia suddenly sit up beside him. He opened his eyes, and in the pale dawn light he could see her ashen face was covered in sweat.

"Are you okay?" He asked groggily. She didn't say anything, pointing to the trash can beside the bed. He understood quickly, sitting up and moving her to the edge of the bed. He handed her the trash can and pulled her hair back as she threw up. Jack could feel her shaking as he rubbed her back and tried to keep his disgust at bay. She groaned quietly when she was done, reaching for the glass of water.

"Merry Christmas," Jack told her with a smirk. She chuckled quietly, before sighing.

"Merry Christmas," she told him. She still looked awful as she put down the trash can.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like death warmed over," she told him, laying back down. She was still peaky, with pieces of hair sticking to her damp forehead. She had dark circles under her bloodshot eyes.

"Yeah, I would imagine so," he agreed. He hesitated a second before he decided to voice the thought in his mind. "You know, you really scared me last night. All of us."

"I know. And I'm sorry. I'm sure I wasn't very pleasant last night," she admitted. Jack laughed and nodded.

"Definitely not the sweetest you've ever been. I think my favorite part of the evening was you yelling at us to leave. Several times," Jack reminisced. "But I know the way I reacted probably didn't help. I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"No, you had every right to yell at me," Julia disagreed. She frowned, staring blankly at the ceiling. "I can't believe I did smack."

"You said it was supposed to be angel dust," Jack reminded her. "What is angel dust?"

"It's a hallucinogen. I've only done it one time, mixed in with some pot. It's pretty good for totally spacing and ignoring everything around you," she explained.

"How did you know it wasn't angel dust?" Jack asked.

"It burned so bad. And then I threw up. I knew then it wasn't angel dust, but you can't throw up what you snort so I was stuck. I felt good, but not like angel dust. I was too conscious to be on a hallucinogen. Figured it was an opiate. Smack is the cheapest," she shrugged. Really, she couldn't be positive that it had been heroin. She would probably never know for sure.

"Well, at least you can say you didn't mean to do it," Jack tried to reason. She frowned, avoiding eye contact with him.

"I didn't mean to do it the first time," she whispered. Her hands fiddled with the blanket, picking at some imaginary snag in the fabric.

"What do you mean?" He asked her cautiously. Jack watched the gold locket he had given her rise and fall slowly with her breaths.

"I did two lines before I realized what it was. But a little while later, I did another line," she admitted. She could feel Jack tense up uncomfortably.

"Oh."

"I'm not trying to make excuses, but I was so messed up already. I felt good. I didn't think another line would hurt me. Or maybe if it did, I wouldn't have cared."

Jack didn't say anything as he thought about what she had said last night.

"If you guys hadn't shown up, I think I would've kept going at it until I was dead."

"I'm sure you're going to have to explain what happened with your mom to everyone else, so I can wait," he said quietly, trying to get his mind off her words.

"Don't call her that," Julia insisted quickly. A red flush rose to her pale face, and Jack noticed her fists clenching. "It's Sylvia. She is not my mom."