Dalhousie To Heart's Journey (Paused)

★ 50 ★ Solus World Of Mine ★

Unedited.

Bondita's Provision :

Time changes people, it does. And with people equation changes too. This 6 months gap surely had some impact in our bond, somehow. His marriage proposal was not something I was expecting and when it actually poped up I remain mumchanced.

That day, my conversion with Sakha babu remain sketchy. The principal had entered into the picture out of blue and dragged us from the place with some enquiries. I, Fred & Sakha babu reluctantly reached the auditorium and comfort ourselves in seats. Though my eyes were fixed on the stage infront, I hardly could centralize my mind on it. Time skipped and at the end, Sakha babu was present formally to all the students as 'Law Teacher' by the principal.

My jaw dropped at the sudden pronouncement but soon I too wholeheartedly clapped for this new bulletin. Sakha babu is mad, absolutely mad. Why the hell he needed to leave his top notch job and persue his career as a teacher here? Did barristry not give him the quality passion? May be he wanted to be with me in my journey. It has to be otherwise what else? Though I was happy for myself, but one part of me wasn't convinced. He had his whole family in Tulsipur. Was it even a correct arbitrament? 

After the program ended that day, I had moved back to my room without futher convo with Sakha babu. I needed some time to process my little brain and unlike other times, my barrister brain was tongue tied too.

I laid straight on my bed as soon as I reached my room. Saying that it was a tedious day, would be understatement. This day was indescribable & nameless one. My eyelids started to fall on its own accord, the puffy cloud like mattress started to taking me in their softness and I felt like loosing myself in that comfort.

I wish life could be like this sometimes, where needed to brood about this hardles in life. Just like those days in my boyhood where, I never used to be on tenterhooks. A life which just revolved my Ma, Baba & Roshogollas. Nothing else. Nothing.

Tears escaped my eyes, unwittingly. Liberation was this really what I want? I questioned myself. For the first time I wanted to think only about myself and a life I truely want. What did I want? Answer me my heart. 

Why don't you articulate your words? My eyes clenched.

May be I was really tired being in a cesspool I accidentally became a part of. I wanted to cry without reason today. I just wanted to cry in solitude where there will be no one witnessing me so enervated. 

I felt my throat clogging with stones, asphyxiating me to death. I sat up and bring out the golden chain off my neck which suffocated me at that moment. Slowly I effaced every single jewelleries I wore exultantly this morning. Finally I sheathed off, the white banarasee saree that was hugging my body along with the other embellishments and laid back on the bed stark naked.

My hairs uncaged flowing down the bed touching the floor as I positioned myself horizontally on the bed. My bare body kissed the white softness, loving me with its mellow touches. My eyes closed and I could feel myself relax, out of the world away from every conundrums.

It felt heaven, it did.

I don't know how the time ran away, while I was drowning myself in the world of seclusion. I was in the solus world of mine, the word of independence & liberation. Lunch time, snacks time, every moment fleed away. My appetite had actually been lost.