𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 ━━ HOPE MIKAELSON.

41

'I HATE DOING THIS. I hate writing, I hate everything. But I'm only doing it for you. I want you to know that I never meant to kill you, I never wanted to hurt you. Although I've been told that you don't hate me for what I did, I can't help but hate myself. I hate the guy I've become, I hate that I can't allow myself to be free. You know, It's like I'm stuck in some sort of box containing all my emotions— emotions I don't want to feel. But recently, all those feelings I've kept bottled up inside are resurfacing and I'm afraid they are too strong to push away. I wish you were here to tell me what to do because I'm so f̶u̶c̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ lost.'

Jaxon grunted as he crushed the letter in his hand and threw it across his room then he leaned back on his chair and watched as the letter caught fire and started burning. He tried to do it— what everybody else were doing. He tried to see the point in it but he couldn't. Scattering those letters across the cemetary seemed absolute bullshit to him so he decided on burning it.

It was like he burnt those feelings and guilt away and true to Emma's words, he did feel better. Earlier he went to Emma and had yet another therapy session. She told him to write everything he was feeling down in a piece of paper, write things he would've said to his mom if she was standing in front of him and tell her about things he would've told her— on a piece of paper and then burn it.

That's exactly what he did and for the first time ever, Jaxon felt like Emma was not completely useless after all.

He got up from his office chair which he had in his room and walked towards the balcony. He was about to jump from there and go for a run when someone knocked on his door. Sighing, he faced the direction of the door, "come in."

The door flew open and Hope walked in, closing it behind her. Furrowing his brows at her, he asked, "to what do I owe—"

He cut himself off when Hope walked towards him. Before he could even say something, she blurted out, "look, Jax, I have something to tell you and you might make fun of me but I don't care, alright? I'm going to get this off my chest because it's eating me alive and I can't... I can't do this anymore. I don't want to hide it."

He narrowed his eyes at her, listening to her heartbeat which had picked up as she continued to speak after a pause of ten seconds, "I like you," the words left her lips quickly, "a lot. I like you more than a friend— Seeing you with Penelope earlier made me so angry that I felt like burning her alive and that's—"

"—at least now you know how I felt when I saw you with that werewolf guy and emo guy," Jaxon cut her off, an amused look visible in his eyes. Hope's eyes widened at the newfound revelation, "you— you were jealous of Rafael and Landon? Wait, That's... That's why you were always threatening them!" She exclaimed, letting out a breathless laugh, her heart fluttering in excitement. She had never once felt what she was feeling at that time and she loved it.

"Shut up," he rolled his eyes, "you kept telling me about how much you liked Landon and shit so I thought that you liked him as in the 'I wanna fuck you' kind of like." Hope shook her head at that, "no, I liked him as a friend. He's my first human friend— or so I thought."

"I still don't like—" Jaxon was cut off when Hope took a step forward and daringly connected her lips with his. At first, Jaxon didn't kiss her back, taken aback by her action. Hope took that as a sign of rejection as she pulled away, face becoming red. "I'm sorry, I thought—"

She cut herself off with a gasp when his hand reached to the back of her neck as he pulled her towards him and turned her around so her back was pushed against the wall. He then crashed his lips into hers. Hope wasted no time in kissing him back.

He ran his thumb along her jawline and down her throat, hips pinning her to the wall. He kissed her slowly and with intensity, and once Hope got over the mind-numbing shock and comprehended what was actually happening, it was incredible. She had never been kissed before and for her first time, her mind was blown.

Every movement of hers was somehow perfectly mirrored by his. Her heart was pounding so hard she knew he must be able to feel it and hear it and Hope was sure her legs were giving way, but he held her up, pushed her harder against the wall as she grabbed a handful of his hair, remembering all the times she's wanted to do that. She allowed her hand to drift down his back and pulled him even closer to her. It all happened so quickly.

Hope heard him make a low kind of growl and lean into her while his hand slid down her leg behind her knee, drawing it to him. Hope couldn't help but let out a low moan as she felt him rub against her and felt Jaxon pull away, lips red and swollen, hair dishelleved making him look even hotter than he usually did. He did not pull away from her completely, he still had his hands on her, pressing her to him. He didn't want to let go.

Hope was breathing heavily while he stared at her, trying to regulate his own breathing while she asked, "why did you stop?"

"Why do you think?" He asked back, glancing down at her lips as she bit them, feeling him pressing into her gave her a feeling of euphoria. She didn't know what took over her when she pressed herself into him, his erection rubbing against her heat as she closed her eyes at the feeling while he let out a groan, grip tightening on her leg. He clenched his jaw, "What do you think you're doing?"

"What do you think?" She asked back making him raise his brows as she continued, "I don't want to stop," she said, bringing her hand to his face, "do you?" That was all it took for him as he leaned in and captured her lips with his again.

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I think it's safe to say that from now on, there will be a lot of mature content. Read if you want— I'm not going to put any sort of warnings.