I left the party after taking a walk threw looking for Hayes when I couldn't find him so I just left . I have no ideal what I would have said to him . Anytime that I thought maybe he was falling for me I push the thought out of my head . I knew he was a player , but really deep down I know the real Hayes and he was not a player . The rest of the night I tossed and turned . Things that Hayes had said to me kept replaying y in my mind . I knew I was having feelings for him . But I wanted Finn for so long and he is going to be home like in a couple of hours . I need something to help me make a decision. Which Hayes looked so hurt when he left I don't know if he would even still want me .
I get up out of my bed . The night was miserable anyway. I get dressed and go to 6:00 am daily mass at St.Anthony Catholic Church. I am looking for a sign where I would know what to do . I don't get a sign , but I do get peace . I feel really greatful for it all . I am greatful for Hayes , I am greatful for being able to know him . He really is a great person . I am greatful for these feelings I have for him even though I don't know what they are . Truth is I never felt like this before I know I never had any sort of relationship so I guess that is why. I am greatful for every look every kiss every touch because all of those are special . I am grateful for my crush on Finn . I am greatful for my found again friendship with Blakely she really has helped me with this all . Then I realize that is who I need to talk to .
I beat on her door and hope her parents don't answer . Thank God they did not . Blakely answers and I can tell she just woke up .
" What the " she starts to say
But I push pass her .
" I need advice like ASAP " I say
" Ok but 1 st coffee " she says as she is rubbing her eyes.
Blakely stayed quite the whole time while I told her everything that Hayes said last night . When I am finished I look at her for advice . She seems stunned. She finally takes a sip of her coffee and says
" Wow"
" I know I didn't think it was possible not really and Finn you know ." I say and cry
" How do you feel ?" She asks me
" Confused " I answer
She shakes her head and her curls are going crazy .
" No I mean how do you feel about Hayes and Finn." She asks
" I have feelings." I tell her
" For which one ?" She questions
" Both " I answer and cry
" I know I have real feelings for Hayes I know he said he has feelings for me but I am not sure if it ain't some kind of game . I mean why wait to tell me until the night before Finn is back . , And Finn was something I wanted for so long I can't say if it is more than a crush because we never really been around each other . You know what if it could be real or what if I go out with him and it's just not real . But I lose Hayes in the process." I say and now I am completely crying heaving and all .
Blakely puts her hand in my shoulder and says
" Did Hayes say if you go out with Finn you would lose him ?" She asks
" No he didn't " I answer her
" Ok he knew what this was so he can't be too mad and if he really likes you he will wait for you to figure it out . " she tells me
A boy like Hayes wait . I just don't think he will .
" I don't know I don't want to lose Hayes"
I say
" Then go on the date with Finn and see how it is and decide. " Blakely says and it kind of makes sense
" You are allowed to be confused just be honest with Hayes ." She tells me
It is only fair to give Finn the chance he thinks he already has.
I text Hayes and really the words are from my heart.
( I hate how we left things , I am still in shock a bit , but the truth is I do have feelings for you .Maybe it is because we spend so much time together or maybe because you are so good at kissing, but I think it is more than that. I am going to go out with Finn just to see but I don't think it could change or compare how I feel about you . Please wait it is only one night . )
I kept it short and sweet but it was completely true . Now I don't know what will happen.
CZYTASZ
Love lessons
RomansWhen Abigail Winters gets into her dream collage a year early she realize that she don't have to worry about school or grades but she also realizes she has not had fun the whole 3 years of high school so she decides to to try . She has then comes up...
