EYES LIKE RAZORS

(105) Civility

"Are you sure, Finn?" Madison asks, when they're stood outside the doors to the morgue.

"I need to see him one last time," Finn nods, gulping nervously, as he wiped away a tear in his eye.

"Come here," Madi sighs, embracing him, Finn gladly being welcomed into her arms, "what if I cry in front of Tommy and Arthur?"

"Nothings wrong with crying, Finn." Madi replies, "but they'll think I'm weak, and treat me even more like a child." Finn states.

"No they won't, they're your brothers. They know how you're feeling even if they can't express it." Madison tells him, "it's the war, Finn. They saw it everyday so had to suppress emotions. They'll feel it inside, even if they can't show it."

"Okay, I'm ready to go in." Finn says, going to pull away but being held tight by his sister, "Mads?"

"These next few months... they're gonna be rough. I want you to promise me, you will not go putting yourself in danger, Finn. I need you to promise me that I will not have to... promise me I won't have to worry about planning a funeral for you too." Madison whispers.

"You won't... I promise." Finn nods, and they pull away, Madison placing a hand on his cheek, "you're a good man, Finn. Don't change."

"Never," Finn smiles sadly, shaking his head, as she pushes the doors to the morgue open, holding it open for him.

There was only one body in there.

Johns body.

Johns dead body.

Johns dead body covered in bullet holes and blood.

John - their cheeky John - was dead, and his body was all they had left of him.

Madison was now stood beside Arthur at Johns side, Finn next to Tommy. She was staring down at his shut eyes, hoping that they might open up.

"They might want to. But it's not their time yet, just as it's not yours, or mine." John says.

"Who decides when it's our time? Because I know damn well you don't believe in god. Why can't we decide when it's our time? Why can't we dictate when we want to go to that better place?" Madison questions.

"I don't know, all I know is it's not your time yet. Alright? It's not your time to go to that better place."

"When is my time, John?"

"Hopefully the same as mine so we'll never have to feel this pain again. And hopefully it won't be for a couple of decades." He replies.

"Hopefully all of us go at the same time, I don't want them to feel this pain either." Madison states.

"Gosh, what's wrong with us? We're sat here hoping for when we die." John chuckles slightly.

"Well it's been settled, one of us can't until the other does." Madison says.

"It wasn't his time," Madison whispers, as the door to the mortuary is shoved harshly open.

"You're cursed and I curse you again!" Esmé screams, storming towards them, towards Thomas, swinging her arms uncoordinatedly at him, making it easy for him to catch her hands, "I curse you again and again."

Esmé shoves Tommy away, mascara stains beneath her eyes, as she cries, looking at John, "leave me with him."

"No," Finn replies.