348: The One For Christmas

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TONI POV:

"You know, you're a very different when you're not with Cheryl." Betty says quietly. "In a bad way?" I ask quietly. "No! Cheryl does most of the talking while you sit there with hearts in your eyes." I smile. "Yeah!" I whisper. "You are still quiet." I nod. "We just don't have a lot in common." I say quietly. She nods. "We have the Blue and Gold! And the serpents and Cheryl!" She says quietly. I look at her. "Anything else?" She thinks. "Oh." I nod. "We're both friends with Veronica!" She says quietly. I look at her. "You and Cheryl are friends with Veronica and Cheryl is my girlfriend and makes me hang out with her friends." I say quietly. She nods. "You doing anything for break?" She ask quietly. "No why?"

I look at Cheryl as she plays with my hand. "Why do you like sitting on my lap?" I ask her. She smiles. "You smell nice." I smile. "Can I ask you something?" I ask quietly. She sits up and looks at me. "It's not serious I promise." I say smiling. She nods. "Do you want to spend Christmas with me and my mom?" I ask Cheryl as I rub her arm. She looks at me. "I know it's probably hard for you this year." I say quietly. "You know I'm Jewish right?" I look at her. "Oh fuck! I did. I'm sorry! I forgot!" She smiles. "It's ok! I would love too." I smile. "We don't do anything religious so you don't have to feel awkward sitting in church with us." I tell her. She nods. "What time do you want me there?" She ask quietly. "Well, I was hoping you could come over on Christmas Eve so we can spend the night together. Nothing sexual if you don't want to! Just a chill night to relax and watch some movies with my mom and have Chinese food." She nods. "That sounds fun." I smile. "You still didn't tell me what time though!" She says quietly. "Oh! I don't know I'll ask my mom. Probably around 4." She nods. She kisses me. "I love you." She whispers. I smile. "Even though I forgot you were Jewish?" She smiles. "Yes!" She says giggling and kissing me. "I love you too baby." I whisper. She looks at me. "You ok?" She ask quietly. "This is my first Christmas without my dad." I tell her. "I know it's worse for you. It doesn't make this easier though." She nods. "At least I feel your pain." She says quietly. "It must be hard without Jason." She nods. "Yeah!" She whispers. "Do you want to-." She stops me. "No!" I nod. "I'm not ready." She says quietly. I smile sadly. "Ok." She gets off my lap. "Cher-." She stops me again. "I have to head to class." She says quietly. I take a deep breath.

I hand Cheryl a small box. "It's not much, it was kinda last minute." I say quietly. She opens it. "It's a necklace." She looks at it. She smiles. "It's a Pink Topaz." She smiles. "I love it." She says handing it to me. "So you're handing it to me?" I ask confused. "That's when you put it on me." I nod and put the necklace on her. "Necklace is such a weird word." I say quietly. She looks at me. "We say it differently than it's spelled." I whisper. "Are you high?" She ask quietly. "No! ADHD brain." She smiles. "Fair enough."

I look at the cigarette then out at the falling snow. "Since when do you smoke?" I turn around and see Cheryl. "Since I've been stressed." I say quietly. "So birth?" She ask jokingly. "Ha! You are the funniest person on the planet." I say sarcastically. She sits next to me. "If you don't want me to I can stop." I say quietly. "No! You're good at least you go outside for it." She says quietly. "But I would like if the smoke wasn't in my face." She says quietly. "Oh shit! Yeah! Sorry about that." I say moving the cigarette out of the way. "You heading out?" I ask quietly. "No! I was about to ask you if I could stay over." I look at her. "Yeah! Everything ok?" I ask her. "No. My mom has been drinking like more than usual and I can't be around it. It's to hard not to fall into that" I nod. "I get it." I whisper. "Can I ask you something kinda personal?" I ask quietly. "Depends." I nod. "If you don't want to you don't have to! But um... have you had a problem with alcohol before?" I ask her. She's quiet for a while. "Will it effect our relationship?" She ask quietly. "A little but I won't break up with you." I tell her honestly. "I have. But I've been sober for 3 years and I know when I need to get away from a situation if it's too tempting." I nod. "Why did you say this was going to effect our relationship but not break us up?" She ask quietly. "My dad was a recovering alcoholic. He relapsed and it killed him. I don't want that for you. I just don't want to be worried about you like that. I worded that wrong and I'm sorry." I explain. "You don't have to worry about me. I have it under control and I'm getting help." I nod. "That explains why there was no alcohol tonight though." She says quietly. "Oh! No! My mom just doesn't drink. Never has and probably never will." I tell her. "Not even because of my dad." She nods. "Why do you smoke?" She ask quietly. "Like actually." She adds. "I don't know. I got offered one once and I just didn't stop." I whisper. "I never wanted to that's why." She nods. She looks at me. "Do you think you can actually stop?" She ask quietly. I look at her. "I don't know. When I said I could stop I meant just this one." She smiles. "I figured." She says quietly. I look down. "You don't have to. It's not great for you though." I nod. "I know. It's this or I have a really bad relationship with Xanax." She looks at me. "If I don't smoke, I get anxious and need anti anxiety meds." She nods. I look at her. "I already have severe anxiety. Then I don't smoke and I think I'm having a heart attack." I whisper. I look up. "I should probably quit." I say awkwardly. I put the cigarette out. "You don't have to right this second." Cheryl says quietly. "Oh! No. I'm cold and want to go back inside." I say getting up. I reach my hand out and help her up. "I'm gonna need a lot of nicotine patches."

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