231: The One Where Toni is Trans

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TONI POV:

"Please." I beg Cheryl. She cups my cheeks with tears in her eyes. "Toni, you need to take it off you've been wearing it for 2 days straight." She whispers. "I'm ok. Look!" I try and take a deep breath but my binder is causing me to much pain. She slowly unties my tie. "Just look at me." She says unbuttoning my shirt. "I'm fine." I say. "You almost collapsed during the dance." She says taking my shirt off. I look up. "Please." I beg. "Arms up!" She say and I do as told. She takes off my undershirt. "Look at me, don't look down." She whispers cupping my cheek with her free hand. "I'm not going to look if you don't." She quickly takes off my binder and I can finally breathe. She hands me a baggy t-shirt and I put it on immediately. She smiles. "There's my handsome boy." She whispers and pulls me into a kiss. "Do you want to go lie down?" She ask quietly. "Yeah." She takes my hand and we go to her room and lie down on the bed. She raps her arms around me.

I look at myself in the mirror. "Toni, you'll pass." Cheryl says walking up behind me and kissing my cheek. "Besides your just getting your hair cut, by Betty's mother!" She says quietly. I look at her. "Come on, we're gonna be late."

CHERYL POV:

I sit next to Betty. "Toni seems really anxious." She says as we look over at Toni. "Is he ok?" She ask concerned. "Yeah. Your mother is the only one he trust with his hair." I say quietly. "Not even you?" I nod. "Sometimes I can't even touch it." I say quietly. "Why?" I look at Toni. "Anxiety." I say quietly. "We're gonna be here a while." I whisper. "God! I have to get him in the shower after this." I say lying back. "You're babying him." I look at Betty. "I've only been able to get him to wash his hair in the sink." I say. "He almost died the other day, because he wouldn't take off his binder."

I cup Toni's cheeks. "Don't look." I whisper. He nods and slowly washes himself. He starts to cry when he goes over his arms which are covered in cuts. "It's ok." I whisper helping him. Once we're done I dry him off and sit him in the toilet. "You have an appointment with your doctor tomorrow right?" I ask quietly. He nods. I dry his hair. "It should be good news right?" He nods again. "I've been on hormone blockers for a few months, I should be able to start Testosterone." I smile and kiss the top of his head. "Let's get you changed." He looks at me. "Can you come with me?" He ask quietly. "Yeah, I was planning on it."

I roll over and see Toni tossing and turning. I try to wake him up but he shoots up in a panic. "It's just me!" I whisper rapping my arm around him.

TONI POV:

I walk into the kitchen. "I think I'm gonna throw up." I say holding my stomach. Cheryl immediately grabs the garbage and pushes it to me. I throw up. "That nervous?" I nod. She rubs my back. I look at the speaker Cheryl's using. "Can you turn that down?" I ask quietly. "Just a little bit I have a headache." She nods and turns it down. "Go brush your teeth." I nod.

I sit in the doctors office waiting for my doctor to come in. I look at Cheryl. "Babe?" She looks at me. "What's up?" She ask quietly. I reach my hand out and she takes it. "That what you wanted?" I nod. She kisses my hand. "You ok?" She ask quietly. I nod. "Just a little nervous." She smiles and stands up. "You're going to be ok." She says kissing my cheek. "Oops." She smiles and grabs a paper towel. "Why didn't you keep it?" I ask quietly. "Because it was uneven." I nod. My doctor walks into the room. "How are you doing today Toni?" He ask smiling. "I'm ok." He nods. "Good." We talk for a while. "How do your parents feel about this, I know you're 18 but I'm just curious?" He ask quietly. "My parents don't know. But my grandfather does and he's cool with everything." He nods.

Cheryl looks at me as I fix myself in the mirror. "Do I look ok? Do you think I'll pass?" I ask quietly. She nods. "Of course." She whispers. "You sure?" She nods. "You're my handsome boy." She whispers kissing my cheek. I turn around. "We're just going to meet Veronica at the Speakeasy, you really don't have to worry about it. But you do pass." She whispers. "But you should fix your packer, you look like you have a boner." I quickly fix it. "Better?" She nods.

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