Little Red

17

I couldn't say anything. Even the gouse seemed silent as if they were waiting my reaction. I didn't know what to say to him.

This whole time...

"Please say something"

I couldn't though, I didn't know how.
His fingers had just touched my arm when I drew back.

I was his mate this whole time. Even when I thought all those things about how I had feelings for him when he had someone else. Preparing myself for the fall when my feelings got stronger and when he would be with his mate....

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted you to-"

" I know have the choice"

Ok, maybe I was a little mad. At the same time happy and then also hurt.

Did he wait to me for the same reason he didn't? Because he wanted to choose? To decid...

I didn't know about other people but I had been hopefully once upon a time in wanting a soulmate and turns out I had one and yet he didn't even tell me. Did he not want me first? Did he not think me good enough.

I had to stop myself from thinking like that.  I couldn't think it.

"I'm sorry I should have told you. Each wolf who find their mate knows immediately but with humans-"

"Can I... you... can you leave me alone for now please?"

The hurt was clear on his face. No doubt identical to that of my own. But I needed this.

"Yeah... I understand I... I'll be around if you need me"

I didn't trust myself to say anything else as I opened my door and closed it shut behind me with a soft click.

I couldn't be upset when I had been positive when he explained the reason for not telling his mate just yet. I liked he was thinking of her and wanting to get a choice for herself. Not because fate designed it.

It was now different knowing I was the mate he was talking about.

I couldn't sleep that night, my head flooding with thoughts both positive and negative. From to Patrick and my messed up self.

When I had eventually fallen asleep it didn't seem long before I woke back up. This time the nightmares plagued my mind. That of a large iron cage and needles. Then to Patrick...

When I woke though a thin coating of sweat covered my body. I must have slept a  couple of hours. Which given this week it was an accomplishment.

I helped myself to the kitchen stopping just as I entered the open viewed livingroom. I knew he was in the house I just couldn't point where. He stood at the counter with a cup of fresh coffee with Shane and Devin standing across from him. The same cups in their hands. They were quiet when Patrick and I's gazes lock on eachother.

"Would you like some coffee Miss Jones?"

Devin was the first to break the silence. That was my original destination but now I just wanted to flee their eyes on me making me squirm as if i was under some kind of pressure.

"no thank you. Where is Grace?"

Maybe I could offer help of any kind as long as it kept me busy until I sorted my jumbled brain out.

"She's is in the study with Rebecca"

"Thank you"

With a last glance towards Patrick I left the room towards the study. I felt like a coward.

The two of them were hovering over a birthday banner when I had walked in. Their moods cheerful and excited.

" I have less than three months to go and my due date cant get here fast enough.I'm ready for these babies to get out of me"

Beside her Grace laughed.

"I'm serious grace I swear I'm going to grips shanes pe- Hey we were wondering when you'd show today. "

I admit was standing in the door way. When Rebecca looked up at me. Grace did to, looking at me excitedly.

"Sorry I... didn't want to interrupt I was wondering if there was anything I can help with"

"Oh there's a lot really your more than welcome to help with anything you like. There's decorations that are going up outside, Devin is in charge of the meat, everyone is chipping in with a side dish and drinks. There's the lights and.. well there's a lot, your welcome to take your pick"

It was clear her excitement for her son's Birthday. She looked to be having trouble containing herself as she continued on that birthdays are always something to celebrate that they mark another chapter in our lives. She wasn't wrong.

"When's your birthday Sarah? I don't think you've ever brought it up"

"I don't-"

"Come on tell us, maybe we can celebrate it to"

"I don't celebrate it. Haven't in awhile. It was just another day for me. That and holidays"

"But-"

"Please, I don't want to talk about my birthday"

"Ok, then.... oh I know. How about we start on Patrick's cake!"

Rebecca cried out excitedly. Grace sent me a concerned look as Rebecca didn't wait for us before wobbling down the hall and demanding that anyone in the kitchen better leave before she gets in there and makes them. That she has a cake to make.

I took it Rebecca was really a party person.  And as we caught up to her she was already in the kitchen with the ingredients laid out and looking like a kid in a Christmas store.

"She love anything baking related. She can't cook though...Are you alright?" Grace asked

"I'm fine. I promise. Just sorting myself out"

Everything was bothering me today and I hated that it was.

I couldn't talk about my birthday because I stopped celebrating it and I didn't want them to make a big deal about it.

Then there was the Mate thing. The fact that I am trying to get better instead of how I used to be or have been until recently.

By the time the cake was in the oven I was all but covered in flour. Rebecca walked us through step by step on making Patrick's cake. We had to start over twice since I had no experience baking a cake. What so ever.

"Hey where..."

Andrew stopped and looked at us. Mainly Rebecca and I. Grace was put on icing duty.

"Andrew I swear if you as so much mention anything I'm shoving this spoon up your southern region and I will make it very painful"

Ok maybe I had turned the mixer on to high and had gotten it over the both of us. All I know is she told me to turn the mixer on... I did now we looked liked ghosts.

Though Andrew obviously wanted that spatula because he then tried to hide his laugh.

"You look like a snowman"

And that's all it took for Rebecca to run as fast as she could at him with a spatula while he ran around the kitchen effortlessly.

I'll admit though. This was what I needed.