Little Red

10

Ok, maybe running like a coward wasn't the best way to go.

I didn't really know what to do. I've never felt the need kiss someone that much and it scared me.

"Sarah, wait"

But I didnt. First I was fat shamed by his ex which didn't little for my self of steam. Then I wondered what kissing him would feel like and that Ferrah was right. Compared to her... I didn't have a perfectly flat stomach, defined facial features and tones legs.

I had curves. I had anxiety, people made me nervous. Crowds even more so. I got uncomfortable easy, I become shy and quiet around new people so why would he care?

But man did I really wonder what kissing him would feel like.I've only known the man a week and already I was acting different.

I felt comfortable, I felt safe. I even felt like opening up more and trusting him.

Ok, I think I liked the man. It was hard not to do and that alone scared the hell out of me.

I cant trust. Last time I did...

"Sarah, stop. What's wrong?"

He had caught up to me. His heart racing in his chest as he placed a hand on my arm causing me to jump.

I couldn't look at him. All these feelings new and yet familiar to me and I felt the anxiety attacks coming and I couldn't stop it.

Not infront of the people who began looking. Some with curious gazes and some with worry. That didn't help any.

"Sarah please look at me"

It couldn't breath. It was happening as my chest felt constricted. My hands began to shake and my breathing became ragged. Due to how fast my heart began beating in my chest it made my vision blurry.

He wouldn't understand. Not the way I was of what I was.

And this anxiety brought back memories. Memories I didn't want.

Memories of being locked up in that foster home like the werewolf they thought I was.

Locked up as they poke me with needles to see what my body could tolerate and what it couldn't.

Locked up as each day was someone new from their little hunting group as they treated me like an animal.

All these new feelings added to it. For eight years I distanced myself from people. Knowing it would be easier. Then he saves me, offers me a place to stay. Visits me in the hospital.

This Alpha man.

What would he think if he found out I had their abilities? Would he think me a freak to? Would his pack?

"I-I can't breathe"

I felt my body give way but the impact of the ground never came. Instead a.set of strong arms caught me and in a swift motion I was picked and held. Soon we began moving.

All I knew was that the smell of him made me breathe again. Relaxed me even.

But I was to far gone.

"Look at me Sarah"

I felt cold when he sat me down. The sofa doing nothing for me. His hands never leaving me. Offering me comfort I didn't know I needed.

"What happened?"

A muffled voice spoke out. I couldn't recognize it but it was familiar.

"Panic attack. Come on Red. I need you to breathe for me"

Panic Attack? I thought I was having a Anxiety attack. This didn't make sense. I had panic attacks before and this seemed nothing like it. Maybe worse.

"Its not working. Patrick we hav-"

Only when I felt lips to mine did my breathing stop entirely. A moment l, maybe two before I actually started breathing again. My heart still pounding in my chest from the foreign contact but I could breathe again.

"Or you could do that"

I couldn't open my eyes. Even when all the sounds faded to nothing as my body seemed to flood with a current of electricity. As it started with just his lips to mine they began to move on their own, almost in sync with the other.

And then it was like I woke up by a bucket of ice water. Breaking the kiss, with a unnatural sound of surprise of what just happened also realizing he had called me red.

I was embarrassed, not because of him kissing me but because others witnessed my attack. I hated them. How they had a hold on me.

But that was some kiss.

"Are you ok?"

A look of regret and guilt flashed through those eyes of his. A regret as he glanced down at my lips then back up meeting my gaze.

He only kissed me because of my attack. That was it. That didn't stop it from hurting any less.

Of course he would regret it. No matter the circumstances.

" Yes, thank you that was-"

" I'm sorry. I didnt know how else to stop it. I panicked. You seemed to hyperventilate and looked to pass out at any minute I'm sorry, I've dealt with many things. A panic attack not being one of them"

Well then he could have slapped me. That would have been just as successful. Instead of doing something he'd felt guilty or regret over. Like he said, he panicked and didn't know what else to do.

Now, why did that upset me so much? Even when I understand completely.

"Its ok, they're not normally that bad"

"You have them often?"

"No, last one was a few weeks ago, thanks"

I couldn't say anything else. Still feeling the affect of his lips on mine. I needed a minute.

"Do you want to talk?"

"No, I-im going to lay down. Excuse me"

I knew they would want to know what happened. Of what caused my attack but I couldn't. Not yet.Walking past a man who looked like he was about the same age as Patrick, only with lighter hair and hazel eyes. He looked at me with a soft smile as he stepped aside to let me through.

Just as I reached the top of the stairs he spoke to Patrick, I was assuming so any way.

His tone was calm laced with amusement.

"Oh you're fucked"