Choni One Shots pt: 2

347: The One Where Toni Leaves Prison

I jump up in my bed. I wake up covered in sweat. I hear a pounding on my door. I look at the clock and see it's 10 am. "Shit!" I get up and go to the door. I open it and it's my PO. "It's Wednesday." She says quietly. "I know Ma'am." I say quietly. "Why weren't you in my office?" She ask pissed. "I was busy having a nightmare Ma'am." I tell her honestly. "Is that my fault?" I shake my head. "No Ma'am." I whisper. She looks at me. "Where were you born?" She ask quietly. "Georgia." She nods. "That explains a lot. Stop calling me Ma'am." She says walking into my house. She hands me a cup. "Do you live alone?" She ask quietly. "Yeah! My girlfriend comes over a lot but she doesn't really live here." I tell her. "I think she's my girlfriend at least." I whisper.

I look at Cheryl who's looking at the sun set. "Do you have a curfew?" She ask quietly. "Yeah, I have to be home by ten." I whisper. "How will they know." I pull up my pant leg. "Oh!" I nod. I look out at the sky. "Do you think he's ok?" I ask quietly. She nods. "He loved seeing the sunset." I whisper. "I don't blame him." She says quietly. I smile a little. "Every night I could I would watch the sunset from my cell. It was the only peace I had." I tell her. "Can I ask what made her go after your family?" She ask quietly. "I owed her money." I whisper. "For what?" She asks me. "I was dealing, so I could pay for stuff for Tony." I tell her. "I'm sorry, you're finding all this stuff out after the fact." I whisper. "It's ok. We weren't really serious yet. We were getting there though." She tells me. "What about now?" I ask her. "I don't know. What do you think?" She ask quietly. She looks at me. "I don't know, I still really like you. Our relationship was all kinds of messed up after I went in." I say quietly. "I think we need to start over. Like not completely, I like having you around." I whisper. She smiles. "Do you just want to go slow and work from there?" I ask quietly. She nods. She kisses me. "I know we just agreed to go slow but I love you." She whispers. "We can start from there." I say smiling.

I look at Cheryl as she puts a plate of pancakes on the table. "You allowed to drink?" She ask sitting in front of me. "No! But I don't anyways and I haven't been able to for a year so I don't really care." She nods. "Why?" I ask quietly. "Veronica is having a party." I shake my head. "I can't." I whisper. "Why not?" She ask confused. "I can't be out late." She nods. "Also I don't really want to." She smiles. "Eat."  She says quietly. I grab the butter and I put some on the pancakes. "Have you been to his grave?" She ask quietly. "Yeah. I went yesterday." She nods. "I still have nightmares." I say quietly. "I've woken up every night since, from having one." I add. "Do you feel like you got revenge?" She ask quietly. "No." I whisper. "Do you still want it?" I look at her. "...Yes." I say hesitantly. "Are you going to?" She ask quietly. "No. I don't want to go back to jail." I whisper. "Do you know where she is?" She ask. I nod. "I'm gonna pretend like I don't do I don't hurt her, I know it's not gonna make me feel better. But I want her to feel what I felt." I tell her. "I feel like my heart was ripped out of me and thrown into acid!" I explain. "You really loved him." I nod. "I couldn't take care of him that well and I felt guilty about that. I saw him almost every day, he just lived with my parents." She nods. "He was my life." I whisper. "I want my baby back." I say trying to cry. "That's all I want." I whisper.

I look at Tony's grave. "I'm sorry baby." I whisper. "This is all my fault. It shouldn't have been you." I say rubbing his grave. I cry. "I miss you and I love you more than anything!" I tell him. "I'm sorry!" I whisper. "You where supposed to grow up and have a life! I'm sorry my life choices ended yours." I tell him. "You shouldn't have died for me." I say. "Toni Topaz! What a surprise." I hear from behind me. I stand up. "Penny. I don't want to do this." I say quietly. I feel her hold a gun up to my head. "Not here." I whisper. "If not where? You owe me money." She says quietly. "Killing my son wasn't enough for you?" I ask quietly. "Never." She says, I can tell she's smiling. She probably feels proud she managed to pull this off. "You could have gone after me." She pushes the gun into my head. "I wanted to kill your parents not knowing you had a kid." She tells me. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" She ask quietly. "I didn't want what happened to him to happen." I tell her honestly. "Besides me and my parents. You and one other person know he exists." I whisper. "You ruined my life." I tell her. "You beat me up." She says back. "You killed my son." I say trying not to cry. "I have the money." I say quietly. "It's not going to bring your precious baby home." She says mocking me. "I never want to see you again after I give you this money." I whisper. "I can do that." She says quietly. "Because I think if I see you again. I'll kill you." I say honestly. She puts the gun down. "Why did you not tell anyone?" I ask her. "I don't know." I take a deep breath. "Also I didn't know he was your kid until you almost knocked me unconscious." She says quietly. I turn around and look at her. "I really did a number on your face." I whisper. She looks at me. "I didn't know he was your kid." She says quietly. "Then who did you think he was?" I ask her. "Nephew or something." She says quietly. "You were still gonna kill him." She smiles. "It's my job." I take a deep breath. "Why are you here? Did you follow me?" I ask her. "No! I was visiting my friend. I saw you." I take a deep breath. "Did you know I was going to be coming for you?" I ask quietly. She looks at me. "Yeah. I had someone call the police because I knew you were gonna try and kill me."

I look out into nothing as Cheryl watches tv right next to me. "You ok?" She ask snapping me out of my thoughts. "I saw Penny today." I say quietly. "And?" She ask quietly. "We talked." She looks at me. "Obviously you're not in jail right now." I nod. "I gave her the money I owed. Hopefully I never see her again, because if I do I will kill her." I say quietly.

"Mommy!" Tony runs up to me as he gets out of my parents car. "Hey baby!" I pull him into a hug. "How are you?" I ask smiling. "Good! I made this for you." He says handing me a little ornament. I smile. "Oh! This is so pretty. I can't wait to hang this up!" I say smiling. "Do you want to help?" I ask him. He nods. "Yeah." I smile. "Ok." I whisper. I stand up. I look at my mom. "Do you want to join?" I ask her. "No! Your dad and I have a date planned." I smile. "Ok." She kisses the top of Tony's head. "We'll be back around 10." She says quietly. I nod. "Have fun!" I say smiling picking Tony up. "Say bye to grandma." I say quietly. "Bye bye!" We both wave. She drives off and we go inside. "I have a surprise for you!" I say putting him down. He smiles. "It's an early Christmas gift." I say handing him a medium size box. "What is it?" He ask as we sit on the couch. "Open it!" I say quietly. He opens the box and it's a stuffed animal. He gasps. "A bunny!" He says smiling. "Does he have a name?" He ask quietly. "No! Not yet that's up to you."  He looks at it. "Mr...." He pauses to think. "Mr. Bunny." He says dead serious. I smile. "That's what you want to name him?" He nods. "Ok!" I say smiling. He smiles.

I jump awake. I've gotta stop doing that. I look around and realize I'm in bed. I roll over and see Mr. Bunny. I smile and cry. The amount of guilt I feel is unbearable. I didn't feel this bad until I got home. I think being around everything, it reminds me of him. I don't know what to do. I can't afford therapy. Cheryl just found out Tony existed. I have no one to talk to this about. I should probably see my parents. Cheryl walks into the room. I jump back up startled. "It's just me!" She says quietly. "Why are you here?" I ask quietly. "I stayed over! I just got up to pee!" She says quietly. I nod. She down in bed. I look at Mr. Bunny. "He's cute! Is this from your childhood?" She ask picking him up. "It was Tony's." I say taking it. She smiles. "What's it's name?" She ask quietly. "Mr. Bunny." I say smiling. "He wasn't original with names." I say quietly. "Wonder where he got it from." She says jokingly. I look at her. "The name has been passed down." She smiles. "I know." She whispers. She looks at me and wipes my tears. "I know I won't really understand but ah! If you want to talk to me about this we can." I look at her. "I don't know." I whisper. She nods. "If and when you are ready." I nod. "Slowly." She nods.