I've been off of social media for the past 6 months whilst getting over a bad break up with my abusive ex boyfriend. He had manipulated and gas lighted me for years before I finally had the courage to leave and now that I've done that I feel so much relief. He had lost me all my friends during our years together but not Jack, he was the only one who could see what he was doing to me mentally. I wouldn't have gotten through the break up without him and for that I'm thankful he's always supported me. I decided to make my comeback by doing a show with a live audience for the first time in a year and it'll be televised 'y/n with an audience'.
The show
I've been on stage for about 45 minutes playing songs off my latest album and I had the final song left called 'Happier than ever' and it's about my relationship. I haven't yet spoken about it publicly and decided that tonight would be a great opportunity to explain what's been going on in my life, knowing Jack was just backstage eased my mind.
"You've all been so great tonight and I'd love to say a massive thank you to everyone tonight and everyone watching from home" I smiled waving around the arena full of celebrities and a few fans. "I know I've been MIA for the past 6 months and I deserve to tell my story" I spoke catching my breath from preforming. I took a seat taking a swig of water before continuing. "My relationship for the past 3 years was extremely toxic. He was mentally and emotionally abusive" the crowd went dead silent in shock. saying that out loud to anyone but Jack and my family took a massive weight off of my shoulders. "These last 6 months I've been trying to get my life back on track forget the past and move on that's why I wrote this next song. I hope you all love it" I placed the mic back on the stand and got ready to preform.
When I'm away from you
I'm happier than ever
Wish I could explain it better
I wish it wasn't true, mm-hmm
Give me a day or two
To think of something clever
To write myself a letter
To tell me what to do, mm-hmm I sang softly into the mic closing my eyes trying not to let myself get too into my head.
Do you read my interviews? Or do you skip bum avenue?
When you said you were passing through, was I even on your way?
I knew when I asked you to be cool about what I was telling you You'd do the opposite of what you said you'd do
And I'd end up more afraid
Don't say it isn't fair
You clearly weren't aware that you made me miserable, ohh
So if you really wanna know as much as my ex seemed to others around us like the perfect guy for me that couldn't have been further from the truth. He was completely jealous and obsessive over me.
When I'm away from you (when I'm away from you)
I'm happier than ever (I'm happier than ever)
Wish I could explain it better (wish I could explain it better)
I wish it wasn't true, mm-hmm
The gentle instrumental started to fade out as the lights dimmed as though it was the end of the song and people started to applaud until the lights started to shine brighter on me. The new instrumental started to play a more of an upbeat tone than before.
You called me again, drunk in your Benz
Driving home under the influence
You scared me to death but I'm wasting my breath, cause you only listen to your fucking friends.
I don't relate to you
I don't relate to you, no I took the mic off of the stand and stepped closer to the audience feeling more confident preforming. I could feel the tears building in my eyes as i continued.
Cause I'd never treat me this shitty
YOU MADE ME HATE THIS CITY the emotional impact this line of the song had on me was a struggle. I started to cry as the song continued to play. I could hear the crowd begin to cheer for me as to support me. I didn't want to open my eyes and see how many people could see me breaking down on stage.
And I don't talk shit about you on the internet
Never told anyone anything bad the backing track continued to play as I pulled myself together.
Cause that shits embarrassing, you were my everything
And all you did was make me fucking sad
So don't waste the time I don't have
Don't try to make me feel bad I tried my hardest to get through this song but finally took my seat and within seconds I felt a pair of farmiliar arms around me and placing comforting kisses to my head. Jack, he had always been my number one fan. Half of the fans screamed in excitement and the other half were in awe when they seen us hugging.
"You can stop" he whispered in my ear but I shook my head and whipped away my tears grabbing ahold of his hand for support.
I can talk about every time that you showed up on time
But I'd have an empty line cause you never did
Never payed any mind to my mother or friends, so I shut em all out for you cause I was a kid
I could feel his hand tightening around my own making my nerves ease instantly. I looked up at him still with watery eyes and he wiped away the stray tears as I smiled. I stood up next to him and his arm went around my shoulder instantly.
You ruined everything good
Always said you were misunderstood
Made all my moments your own
JUST FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE!
I finished the song and for a split second I felt as though everyone was silent but then I heard their screams. I looked up at Jack with a massive smile and was caught off guard when he smashed his lips against mine. I instantly kissed him back forgetting about everyone around us.
