Aurelia || SERIES ROMANA I

Chapter 91 ~ Onus sustinendum

The birth of little Antonia was now four months ago, and it was downright frightening how Aurelia's body had changed in this short time. This woman sank so deeply into her countless tasks and duties that she hardly took time to breathe. Clemens had never seen her so thin in his life and these outward changes worried him deeply. How was he supposed to look after her for her husband when she was so negligent with her health? In his role as a quiet and unobtrusive observer of fine society, Clemens had seen enough men with these symptoms to know that Aurelia was caught in a very dangerous game against herself.
The little free time he had to coerce her into spending was spent with her children, and little Julius in particular flourished around his mother. Meanwhile, he eagerly longed for the summer they would spend again on the Gulf of Naples. Aurelia would not stop working there either, but at least their daily routine was not as full as in Rome - which Clemens and Prunia quietly saw to.
But Clemens not only had to worry about her health, for months he had been preoccupied with the question of who was behind the failed attempt on Aurelia's life. Every single letter he had secured at the doctor's house had been signed with a single letter. H. Who was supposed to be H? Hortensius? Horatius? Hermaias? There were so few and too many possibilities at once, but none could convince him. Most of the men who would shorten their names with an H were so insignificant that they could never gather enough allies around them for their plans to ever be even remotely crowned with success.
Time and again he had toyed with the idea of asking Aurelia's permission to discreetly search the men in question. But her orders were clear. They had to keep their enemies safe, otherwise they would attack immediately and that could mean civil war as long as Gaius was in Britain. However, it would also mean civil war if Gaius was assassinated along with his heirs in Rome. There were so many scenarios that could occur that Clemens had lost track of them all by now, and only very few did not end in bloody slaughter.
Patiently, Clemens watched the slaves scurrying through the atrium. Behind the door at his back was the public study where Aurelia was listening to her last client of today's salutatio. Tomorrow the whole game would begin again.
From the shadows of a column a young slave girl, still a girl, flitted and pressed a scroll into his hand with her eyes downcast. Surprised, he looked after her and weighed the small scroll in his hand. For a moment he was sure that this message was meant for Aurelia and that the girl had just not dared to disturb her lady. But then he remembered that it was not his job to pass on letters to her. After all, he was the prefect of the Praetorian Guard in uniform and not some random secretary in a tunic.
Indecisively, he examined the scroll. He received letters so rarely that each letter meant only one thing: bad news. He would deal with that later. Just as he put the scroll into a holder on his breastplate, the door opened, and Aurelia's client left the study whistling. With a polite smile on her face, Aurelia stopped on the threshold and looked after him. As soon as the front door closed behind him, she turned on her heel and, to his surprise, dropped onto a small sofa. Exhausted, she closed her eyes and massaged her temples.
Concerned, he followed her into the sumptuous room and closed the door behind him to shut out prying eyes. Her eyelids fluttered open as he sat down on the armchair next to the sofa.
"Today the campaign season begins," she murmured and for a brief moment she allowed him to look behind her mask. The fear in her eyes made his heart grow heavy. He had completely forgotten that while life was going on here in Rome, the legions in Britain were leaving their winter camp and heading further north. Nervously, he stroked his hair and searched for words, but what could he say to a woman whose husband was at war so far from home?
"What's that letter you got?" she wanted to know in an unconcerned chatty tone, and he just shrugged.
"I'd rather you read it now than later," she said, keeping the carefree tone perfect. "Bad news doesn't get better when you put it off, my friend"
With a sigh, he broke the seal, unrolled the letter and skimmed the greeting. The letter was from his estate manager. Confused and with a queasy feeling in his stomach, Clemens skimmed the first lines of the letter. With each word, his confusion faded and the uneasy feeling in his stomach gave way to a bottomless emptiness. Fannia had died a few days ago after the birth of their daughter together. The child would be cared for by a wet nurse at the moment. The funeral would be conducted in a few days according to Fannia's wishes. But the time was too short for him to be present at her funeral. The journey was too long for that and her wish to be buried three days after her death was too accepted by all the living. They had to bury his wife. Without him.
Aside from this terrible news, the estate manager inquired as to what would happen next. Marcus and little Arrecina would indeed be cared for by the slaves as usual. But there was no one to supervise the upbringing of the children. All too clearly Clemens understood what his estate manager was trying to tell him but dared not address directly. The children needed their father. Now.
"Well?" echoed Aurelia softly, and Clemens tore his eyes away from the papyrus. "What happened?"
"My wife," Clemens began, but his trembling voice broke and he felt tears welling up in his eyes. Wordlessly, Aurelia rose from her chair, took the letter from his trembling hands and skimmed over his estate manager's communication. She placed her left hand compassionately on his shoulder as she read, and this small gesture gave him strength. Cautiously he looked up, but her beautiful face looked out over the rolling hills of Rome. After a few blinks she tore herself away from the sight, withdrew her hand and gave him back his letter.
"Your children are welcome in my house any time," she murmured, returning to her desk and continuing to work. Thoughtfully, he watched her quietly, pondering her proposal seriously.
As a member of the Praetorian Guard, Fannia's dislike of Rome had never bothered him. Especially after the birth of his son and his rise to prefect of the Guard, her steadfast refusal to move to Rome had seemed like a blessing. Was there any better way to protect one's loved ones than to hide their existence from friends and foes? But Fannia was gone, and he longed for his children. Marcus' chances would be so much better if he grew up in the heart of Rome. How was he to exist in a world he did not know? Clemens had risen too high for his son ever to lead an unmolested life. So why shouldn't he have the children with him, provide for their safety here and teach them here the things that enabled their existence in this society?
Lost in thought, he closed his eyes and silently asked Fannia to forgive him. His decision had been made. With a soft clearing of his throat, he drew Aurelia's attention, and she immediately raised her head. A soft, compassionate smile was on her lips. She had only been waiting for a reaction. One last time, Clemens took a deep breath and listened within. But his heart told him he was doing the right thing for his family. In a firm voice he announced: "I gladly accept your offer."