Aurelia || SERIES ROMANA I

Chapter 68 ~ Ave atque vale, soror

Suddenly, warm arms embraced his cold body and a painfully familiar smell enveloped him. He wanted to shake off her hands and shout at her to leave. He couldn't bear another mirage of her that came from his imagination. But he had no strength to fight himself any longer. Weak and exhausted, he pressed himself against her and tried to find peace with her for a moment. Gently, her fingers stroked his hair. Slowly the realisation seeped through to him that her touch, her scent and her warmth were too real for the cruel tricks of his mind. Yet he still did not trust his own senses enough. Silent and motionless he lingered, but she stayed with him and did not leave him as she had the countless times before.
"Are you really here?" he croaked hoarsely from crying and he felt her pull him closer.
"I'm here, my heart, and I'm never leaving," she promised softly, and his thoughts cleared. For the first time in weeks, he was able to relax completely and slipped into a blissful, dreamless sleep.

The next time he opened his eyes, she was still there. Her arms still wrapped him like a protective blanket. Her fingers traced invisible patterns on his face. Regularly and strongly her heartbeat in her chest and fascinated he listened to this sound that seemed so much more real to him than his own heartbeat. Lazy as a sleepwalker, he turned his head so that he could finally look at her again. Immediately her hands stopped. In her eyes he read nothing but love and understanding. Wordlessly, he straightened up and pressed his lips to hers, searching for support. As soon as her heady taste exploded in his mouth, he felt like a drowning man finally breaking the surface and getting fresh air. Suddenly she flinched and he hesitantly broke away from her.
"Are you all right?" he asked anxiously, and her soft laughter dispelled the last shreds of darkness clouding his thoughts.
"It's the baby," she explained softly and as he eyed her worriedly, her eyes softened. "By now it's not prodding, it's kicking quite hard"
As if to prove it, she placed his hand on her belly and as the child moved, he understood what she had been trying to describe to him. This feeling was indescribable. Slowly his mind adjusted to her needs, and he wondered how long she had been sitting beside him on the cold floor. Wasn't the air far too hot and stuffy? With a leap he jumped up, pulled back the curtains and pushed open the window. The full moon shone pale and glaring into his eyes, while soft, fresh air brushed past him into the room. Questioningly, he turned to her, but she sat motionless like a statue, watching him. Dark shadows lay under her eyes. Immediately he was with her again and offered her his hand. Her delicate fingers sought a hold on him as she rose with difficulty. Wordlessly, he led her to the bed and pulled her with him onto the neatly draped sheets. As soon as their heads touched the pillow, their eyes fell shut and they fell asleep, tightly embraced.

The teasing tickle of the sun's rays woke him the next morning and relieved, he felt the weight of Aurelia's arm on his chest. She was still with him. Carefully he slipped out of bed, threw on a tunic and hastily tied his sandals. On the threshold, he paused and turned to face her once more. Her long hair spilled tangled over her pillow and her face showed deep, inner peace. She was still wearing her clothes from the day before and no dress in the world would be able to hide her pregnancy at this point. Coming back must have cost her a lot of strength. After a small eternity, he was able to tear himself away from the sight of her and noiselessly surveyed the damage he had done two days ago. The living room was already being quietly tidied up by Aurelia's girl. As a precaution, he locked the door of his private study. The documents he kept there were for his and Aurelia's eyes only. He would clean up his mess later.
Outside the door to his chambers, he found Suetonius and Clemens, the latter barely able to look him in the eye. At first Gaius did not want to go into it, but then he paused, turned slowly to Clemens and eyed him waitingly. Clemens' Adam's apple bounced nervously up and down. Suddenly he lifted his head backwards and confessed quietly: "Please forgive me, Gaius, for disobeying your orders. She was completely terrified and threatened to take one of the horses if I did not help her. I could not risk her carrying out her threat."
Gaius smiled quietly to himself at the notion. Nothing and no one could stop his wife if she set her mind to something.
"My orders were to protect her, not hold her," Gaius said thoughtfully, his lips twisting into a fine smile. "And that is exactly what you did, my friend. Look at you, even at this very moment, standing at our door, carrying out your command."
Clemens nodded and Gaius turned on his heel. A daunting task awaited him, and he knew he could only face it because, thanks to Aurelia, his mind was finally clear. For a moment he considered visiting Drusilla, but as the memory of her pale face and lifeless eyes came to mind, he felt the darkness extend its greedy claws towards him. Once more he would not fall into that abyss. With swift steps, Gaius marched into his library, grabbed the scrolls he wanted and hurried to his official study, where Hesiod was already waiting for him.
"I do not want to be disturbed today, send away all visitors and supplicants," Gaius ordered as he placed the scrolls on his desk. "Inform me as soon as my wife wakes"
"Shall I have her woken, milord?" asked Hesiod quietly and Gaius looked up from his scrolls.
"No" he said in a cutting voice and added more quietly "She looks as if she hasn't slept properly for weeks. She needs rest and sleep."