Aurelia || SERIES ROMANA I

Chapter 38 ~ Incognito

Fascinated, Aurelia absorbed the sight of Rome at night. As she leaned slightly over the marble parapet of the balcony, she became truly aware for the first time that Rome was built on hills. For no matter how many times she had read about the seven hills, in her mind the city remained level and flat. But now the eternal city stretched out below and, on the hills, next to her, which did not even think of sleeping. For even though she was in one of the more genteel quarters of Rome, the Palatine, she could see the lights of the taverns and brothels shining all too clearly from this hill. Sometimes she thought she heard the clatter of hooves. In her old life she had once read that heavy carts were only allowed into the city at night. Back then, she had thought New York was the city that never sleeps. But here and now she felt the name was more appropriate for Rome.
With a smile she turned her gaze up to the sky and once again the beauty of this time took her breath away. On Vespasian's estate she had been able to see the stars even better than in Rome, but even here there was not enough light to outshine the stars as in her own time. The longer she looked up, the more constellations she thought she saw that had faded and disappeared in two thousand years. Not that she was really good at astronomy - on her bad days she couldn't even find the Big Dipper, but when she looked at the stars, she discovered her own motives and felt less lost.
Suddenly two pleasantly warm arms gently rested on hers, his familiar scent rose to her nose and automatically she leaned her back against his muscular chest. The warmth of his body enveloped her like a warm blanket, and she felt safe and protected. They were silent for a while, just enjoying each other's presence. For the first time since they had found each other again, they were alone.
"I'm so glad you're with me," Gaius whispered tenderly in her ear. Carefully, she spun around once, wrapped her arms around his warm belly and looked up at him with a smile. Instead of saying anything in return, she stood on her tiptoes and gently pressed her lips to his mouth. As if he had only been waiting for that, he ran his hand through her hair and pulled her even closer to him. As her heart competed with the butterflies in her stomach, she was swept up in a wave of desire. She wanted more. More and more of him. All too soon, he parted their lips and gently leaned his forehead against hers. Shaky and breathless, she looked into his eyes and found in them the same passion and desire she felt in every fibre of her body. Tenderly, she placed a hand on his cheek and quietly asked him why he had stopped. He laughed softly and lovingly stroked an unruly strand of hair from her face.
"Because I finally want to get it right," he confessed softly, returning her gaze openly. "For years I've had no control over every teeny tiny area of my life. I've had to do things I'm not proud of and despise myself for. Tiberius taught me to exploit feelings. Lust, desire, sex - for him these were means of demonstrating and acting out power and I knew no matter who I was to seduce or who seduced me on his behalf - every word, every touch, just everything was told to him. One night, when he was staggering to his room particularly drunk from his party with one of his mistresses, he met me in one of the corridors. When he spotted me, he laughed and sent her on ahead. Then he came up to me and murmured in his ear, grinning, all the things he had already found out about me and how he and the Praetorian Prefect before Macro, Sejanus, had used the wives of my two elder brothers against them. Don't get me wrong - I trust you more than any other living being in this world. Through you I have come to realise that love is not the subjugation of the weaker, but equality. That is why I want it to be very special the first time we are truly together, not a stolen, rushed moment of weakness. I want to marry you so that we are truly one for all time. Of course, I also want to be able to laugh with you later at all the envious people who say you've screwed yourself up."
Thoughtfully, her fingers played with his hair.
"I can understand you," she breathed softly. "To be honest, there is also something I would like to ask you before we get married."
Smiling, he nodded and pulled her closer to him to protect her from the cold of the night.
"I suppose before we marry, we will hardly be alone and if we are, our time will be very limited as it is now. If we do see each other, it will be at public functions and parties. I understand that. You are, after all, the head of a huge empire. But I would like a date"
He looked down at her without understanding.
"What, by Pluto, is a date, please?" he asked, confused. Aurelia laughed softly to herself and after a moment's thought, she nervously explained the structures of modern dating to him. Slowly the wrinkles on his forehead disappeared and his soft lips twisted into a wry smile.
"Then we'll go to the circus tomorrow - you'll love the view from my box," he beamed, but Aurelia's face darkened. Concerned, he eyed her.
"I want to spend time with you, Gaius," she explained quietly. "Not with the Princeps while his subjects watch us".
Understanding, Gaius nodded and pulled her closer to him again. Slowly he began to see the subtle differences and the more he thought about it, the greater the desire in him too to spend a day just being a normal young man with his beautiful fiancée.
"What do you have in mind?" he asked with a sly grin that warmed her heart. With a conspiratorial smile on her lips, Aurelia stood on her tiptoes and whispered her plan into his ear. No sooner had she finished than he pulled her closer and buried his head in the crook of her neck. Smiling, she closed her eyes and savoured every precious second.
A clearing of the throat brought her back to the present. Backwards, she opened her eyes and took a step back from Gaius. The latter scowled and turned to the troublemaker.
"We would like to leave, Aurelia," Vespasian said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. Then he remembered that he was no longer a little boy and stood up straighter. "Would you still like to join us?"
Aurelia nodded curtly and Vespasian disappeared back into the house. Her eyes met those of her fiancé.
"Good night," she murmured and breathed a feather-light kiss on the crook of his neck. She just couldn't get her hands on anything else right now. Gaius leaned down to her and their mouths met.
"Good night," he whispered as they broke away from each other. Crossing his arms, he leaned casually against the balcony's parapet as Aurelia dejectedly left the balcony. As she stepped onto the threshold, he called a cheerful "See you tomorrow!" after her. Smiling, she turned to him and he winked at her conspiratorially. The happy smile did not disappear from her face even when she lay in her bed in her adoptive father's house an hour later and slowly slipped into a dreamless sleep.