Aurelia || SERIES ROMANA I

Prologue

Misenum, March 37 A.D.

After years filled with fear and hate he was finally calm. It has been hours since he sat down on her bed. Not for a second he was turning his gaze from her to burn every little detail of the moment deep into his memory. Tomorrow everything would be different. Tomorrow he must let her go or else he would precipitate her with him into ruin. He was lost. Now he wouldn't be able to save her one more time.
She seemed younger and less rebellious in her sleep. Nor girl nor woman. She was just peaceful and utterly beautiful. He didn't deserve her. She deserved so much more than him. Someone who didn't have a dark future like him. And still he was asking himself again and again if he wasn't able to keep her near him. Every inch of his body was craving for the taste of her sweet lips. Just one time he wanted to taste her. Every part of his mind was craving for a better, happier future by her side. But how should he bring her luck and peace as long as he only knew fear and destruction? As long as he was keeping her around for his own selfish reasons, he was only putting herself in danger.
To not wake her up he put a lose strand behind her ear. How silver her hair was shining in the moon light. He froze in the moment she started moving but her eyes kept closed and after a while his pulse calmed down.
Light as a fewer he was touching the soft skin of her cheek and a small, very selfish part of him was praying to the gods that she would open her eyes and talk him out of his plans. But she didn't know that has happened today. Out of desperate he buried his face in his hands just to look up immediately to curse himself for his egoism. With every more heartbeat he spent looking at her he was questioning himself more and more how long she would be able to survive by his side.
After a while he bend a little bit more forward, drank in more of her wonderful and heady scent and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. He whispered softly in her ear: "I promised you that I will protect you from any danger. Now I have to protect you from myself"
He stod up heavy hearted and went to her door without a sound.
"Gaius", her voice was whispering suddenly. Caught he was turning around. But her eyes were still closed. Then she moaned and whispered his name again. Her lovely voice was filled with desire and longing. She turned her back on him. Away from him and something inside him broke. A single tear was falling from the corner of his eyes. He whipped it away harshly while the voice of his grandmother was ringing into his mind A man does not cry.
Without a sound he was sliding into the villa's shadows knowing that his heart would be forever with her in this dark little room.