Book Reviews

Gold Digger's Confessions

I don't ever comment on this, but I really think your story would benefit from being called 'A Gold Digger's Confessions,' as it makes a lot more sense to the reader. As it is about three separate gold diggers, the extra 'A' in the title makes it seem like there are more than one confession to be made. You could keep it as is, but it makes a lot more sense with an A!

Cover: Really like the picture, but I don't like the font. I think that the text under the title is unnecessary, too. Also, I'm having a hard time reading what is at the top of the cover as it is dark, and mostly cropped out! I think that if you simple structured the 'Gold Digger's Confessions' differently, it would look much better! I will create some covers to show you what I mean (ignore that it won't be the same picture.)

Blurb: I'm not the biggest fan of putting gigantic quotes into blurbs, but I know for a fact it gets people to read your book, so honestly I would leave it in, but maybe shorten it down. Here's how I would fix the actual blurb. I'm also quite confused where the 'three' gold diggers come in in the quote. It seems to only be one person's story.

Original

"I'm hungry," she said in a weak voice.One person, by construction, seemed to be a woman, although she couldn't see it well from the uniform, she approached her. She took a dog bowl, put a leash around her neck, and poured food on the corner of the room."Good dog," she said, in a rough female voice."Fuck you!" Anastazia smirked.Two men jumped up. They slapped her a few times."If you want to eat, be a good bitch," said one of them. Laughter echoed through the room as if a very funny joke had been told."Show me your ass," he told her.She did what she was told. He took a camera and took a picture. Once, twice, a third time."None of this would have happened if you had stuck to the deal," he told her.She no longer felt anything, no shame, no fear, no anger. She swallowed, shivering."If you had to pick one of your friends, which one would it be?" the words echoed through the room."Which one would you save? Cara or Noir?" he repeated louder.Anastazia was still silent, dizzy. Someone waved his hand, and Anastazia felt a dull ache all over her body. Since she didn't answer anything, the blows intensified."WHICH ONE?!" he shouted.Three seemingly ordinary gold diggers, three different destinies, and three different goals. So different, and yet so similar. Will they find themselves staying together until the end despite all the secrets, lies, and murders, or will they fall through this temptation of life and betray the others?

Mine

Three seemingly ordinary gold diggers.

Three different destinies. Fate, as you may call it.

Three entirely different goals.

So different that you wouldn't expect them to be all so similar. 

Will the three find themselves sticking together in the end even though all the secrets, lies and murders? Or will they fall through the temptation of their own lives and betray one another?

Originality: Not much to say here, it seems original to me. Though I will say, when you go into this genre of book, which is what Wattpad is mainly known for, it becomes a little sticky in the originality category, as there are millions of people writing stores just like this one.

Flow: I think the first few paragraphs of any book is the most important, and i feel like your style of writing is almost rushed in a way. There could be so much more writing for each section! Even just taking an extra two minutes to write the colour of something can bump up your word count, and make the story more interesting. obviously, don't always go into heavy detail because that's boring, but at least make sure every other paragraph has some interest in it. Also, can I just say that I love the fact you don't let us know who 'her' is right from the start. Really interesting! For example:

Yours

Mine

It was a typical Friday night in New York City for her. Every girl's view of The Big Apple after dark. Partying. Drinking. Hooking up. Sliding into her brand-new, tight, red dress, she watched her curves accentuate with every movement she made. It hugged her. So well. In five swipes she had fully applied a matching red colour to her apricot lips and moved onto her eyes. These took her longer — about 10 minutes or so, though she had vastly improved her speed from the first-ever time she used makeup.

She looked in the mirror, puckering her lips and blowing a kiss to herself. 'You're shining, doll,' she said to herself, though she really didn't need to. She knew she'd be getting hundreds of compliments that night. Showing her other self her perfectly straight, white teeth, she rubbed at them with her finger to remove the faintest hint of red lipstick that tinted them.

Placing a few dollars in her bag — because she certainly didn't need more than that — she walked out the door. Swarms of sickeningly rich men would be paying for her drinks that night, a different one each time. Or maybe the same one, if they got lucky. She would simply take a drink from them, and return a beautiful smile, which she knew exactly how to fake. That scenario was completely natural for her. A daily reoccurrence.

Chapter size: I feel as though your chapters need to be much longer. Right now, the majority are around 7 minutes long, but they sometimes go down to 3 minutes. This is way too short for most people's likings, so I would definitely recommend increasing the amount of writing in each of your chapters. I would aim for at least 10-minute chapters (unless they're short for effect,) or around 3000-5000 words in each chapter. Personally, for your book, I would stick with around 2500-3500 words per chapter! Hope this helps.