Book Reviews

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Cover: I LOVE this cover, it is so cute!! I don't know much about Taylor, so sorry if I get parts wrong. I think having something to relate to Taylor would be nice on the cover. Does she wear anything all the time, or have something instantly identifiable as hers? Just some ideas, but honestly, I think it is perfect!!

Blurb: It is okay at the moment. I don't really know how to explain what is wrong as the blurb is generally confusing, so I will just re-write it for you!!

YOURS 

Story about Betty, James, Augusta, Inez, and Dorothea. 

 Betty was a country girl and she never belonged it school. When she was dating James though she felt like she belonged. 

 When James was with Betty he felt complete but when he was with Augusta he felt special and old. 

 When Augusta was with James she felt perfect. She always fit in bust she was just a clone at school only when she was with James did she not feel like a clone.

This is my story but it is based on on Folklore and Evermore by Taylor Swift. The characters and storyline is based on songs by Taylor Swift

ADAPTATIONS

Betty was a country girl. 

A country girl that thought she never belonged in school. 

The only thing that left her feeling loved was when she dated James. When James was with Betty, he felt complete, but when he was with August, he felt special and old. When Augusts was with James she felt perfect. Just perfect. She was always the one that fit in, but for all of the wrong reasons. She was a clone, and when she was with James, she didn't feel that way.

Originality: There doesn't appear to be a plot from the blurb. It seems to me like 3 people are all dating, but the others don't know about it? It is quite confusing what you are aiming for. Otherwise, it seems like a solid plot.

Flow: I would like you to change your chapter names. The Betty POV and James POV is nice, but this needs to be continued. You do the POV's for a bit, then change the format. This looks messy and unco-ordinated. Just write who's POV it is. It is okay to have the same person's POV twice- one after another. Also, you have chapters called the dance 1 and 2. Combine these together. You shouldn't have two separate chapters unless they are way too long. Yours are not.

Your grammar is good, and the overall plot is solid. I would just like to see more description!! I NEED more description.

Chapter size: Your chapters are really short- 3-4 minutes needs to be doubled at least. I would aim for 6-7 minutes for your book. You can do this by extending your paragraphs and adding in more detail. I tend to extend chapters by writing a few, and then combining them. Please remember to change chapters when you change focus. For you personally, I would work on focusing on every little detail. Say the girl is walking down the street- describe all of her senses. What can she hear? Smell? Taste? See? And so on.

Basics: Good story. I would work on CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT please. A lot of your chapters consist of just speech, and we need this to change. If you insist on only doing speech, put little bit in between. For example:

''Hey, are you going to the party tonight?'' Marrissa questioned, moving her thumbs together in hopes of removing her mind from the situation that happened no more than five minutes ago. Her breathing was caught up, and as hard as she tried, she couldn't force the carbon dioxide out of her lungs. It choked her. Her breath hitched in, fearing Peter's answer. Looking him in the eye, she saw a hint of sorrow mixed with a faint smile. 

''Yes,'' The tall man replied. He longed to pull her into an embrace, but the simple answer would have to suffice for now. She smiled, and pulled her sleeve over her wrists.

''Okay,'' She laughed.

AND SCENE LOL.

Sorry, I just made that up and kind of got into the flow. But you see what I did? I incorporated smell, feel, sight. This is what you need to do. This is what yours is like at the moment:

''Hey, are you going to the party tonight?'' Marrissa questioned.

''Yes,'' The tall man replied.

''Okay,''

It needs more detail!! Other than that, great work!