Book Reviews

ꜱʜᴀᴅᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴘᴜʀᴘʟᴇ

Cover: The cover is nice, but I would prefer to see something completely different. I think that the cover at the moment is quite washed out... The font blends into the background, and the picture is hard too see. Please don't be too offended, this is only a personal experience.

Trying to keep things similar, I created this:

Blurb: I think the blurb is very simplistic, but it works very well. My only change is:

Love is not simple, 

but with their secrets, 

Will it be even more difficult?

I WOULD CAPITALISE BUT

Love is not simple, 

But with their secrets, 

Will it be even more difficult?

Originality: This is just your average love story, and I am here for it! I love the concept and- though you only have a few chapters up- it is very interesting!

Flow: The story is easy enough to read, but I get a bit lost in which character is saying what. I think that we jump into the story a little too quickly, and we need more backstory. At the start, we go straight into people speaking, but I get lost in which speech is who. You can fix this by adding 'CHARACTERS NAME said'. I think your paragraphs are running a little short, and your descriptive writing needs some work. You basically only have speech, and we need to know what is going on more. I have no idea what is happening at the start. You move the story on wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to fast. In the second chapter they are already talking about wanting to die, and it just moves too fast, which makes it really hard to read. I will give examples below.

YOURS

I peel my eyes open as sun rays hit them. I wonder where I am, I wish I'm dead but that doesn't look like the case.

MINE

Peeling my eyes open, I catch a glimpse of bright white light from the corner of my eye. The sun- shining directly onto my face, lights up the room in a yellowish hue and radiates its energy off the walls and furniture surrounding me. At first, my eyes sting slightly, as if opening them after a very long sleep, but they soon get used to it. My mind wonders where I am, and my brain struggles to recall the events that brought me here. Clearly, I am fully alive, but I can't help but wish the situation was different. Craning my neck slightly, I make out a familiar face.

{CONTINUE INTO SPEECH}

Chapter size: Starts at 2 minutes, then goes up to 5, and down again. I would focus on getting up to the 8-10 minute mark. You can easily do this by extending your paragraphs, and just adding more detail. As well as extending your chapters, this technique also proves for a better read!

Basics: I found this book very confusing to navigate. However, don't lose all hope. You can fix these problems by adding more backstories for the characters, so readers don't get lost. For your book, I think you need at least 2 chapters of backstory, just to build us up to the moment that happens on the second chapter.