Book Reviews

ᴛᴇᴍᴘᴏʀᴀʀʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ

Cover: I personally just don't like the font. I feel like the font doesn't match the picture right. After reading your blurb, I would do something completely different, but it is all dependent on your personal style. Also, you can't see your name at the bottom of the screen. I strayed away from the young couple kind of vibe and created these- the end ones are my favorites.

Blurb: Great blurb, tells me everything I need to know. Could be adapted, but not necessary. This is how I would do it-basically just changing the structure a bit.

YOURS 

"So, what are your other intentions, Mr. Hughes." "You are my intention, Ally," Harvey was taken back by his bold confession. His heart throbbed heavily as he waited for her response.***Ally Marsh is a 21-year-old college student who was always just second best her no matter the sacrifices she had made until she met Harvey Elias Hughes, a Marine veteran who had so much to give, but no one to give to. Harvey wanted a fresh start from his past. Ally needed someone to understand her choices. When their world collided, neither of them can deny their magnetic attraction, nor can they hide from it. But will moving on from their pasts jeopardize what they've found in one another?

ADAPTATIONS

"So, what are your other intentions, Mr. Hughes?" 

***

Ally Marsh was your average 21-year-old college student until she met Harvey Elias Hughes, a Marine veteran who had so much to give, but no one to give to. She was always second best, no matter the sacrifices she made for those around her. 

She wanted someone to understand her choices. 

He wanted a fresh start from his past.

Neither of them could deny the magnetic attraction between themselves, nor could they hide from it. What happens when the two's worlds collide? Will moving on from their pasts jeopardize what they've found in one another?

***

"You are my intention, Ally."

Originality: Lovely story. I think it is very original on the basis of the character backgrounds. Love stories/ romance books all tend to be very similar, however, yours appears very unique to me. Great work!

Flow: You told me to focus on chapter 22, so that is what I'll do. I really have no comments on the flow of your story. The way you write is very interesting to me, and I really do enjoy your work. I love that you never repeat yourself. When your characters are saying things, you always come up with very unique ways to show that. For example, instead of saying 'she said', you say things like 'she chuckled'. This is much more enjoyable for the reader and I LOVE it. Great work. As I already stated, there isn't really much to say as your writing is spot on. Lovely work!

Chapter size: I didn't check all the chapters, but the majority. They range from 2 minutes all the way up to 12 I think. I would REALLY recommend going back to those really short chapters and extending them. You don't have to add too much more information/ events happening, just increase the amount of detail. Talk about everything the characters see/do. This will make your work much better. Try to aim for them all to be between 8-12 minutes- excluding short chapters for effect. Great work.

Basics: There really wasn't much for me to comment on today as your writing is already very strong. I love the flow of your story, and everything works so well together. Your style of writing is spectacular-you would think you were a professional-wow. I would work on the cover, but that is about it. Oh, also try extending some of those earlier chapters and the whole story will be perfect. Keep up the amazing work!