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Cover: Love this cover, wouldn't make many changes. I would make the face larger so it takes up more space on the cover. Also, increase the text size so it covers her face. Basically exactly the same but make the face larger.

Blurb: Great blurb overall. I would make slight adaptations but that is it!

YOURS 

152 days. That's how long 17 year old Lynn Beaumont has been missing. On her way home from school. A route she has been walking almost every day for the past three years. Nobody seems to know anything, typical for the small town of Blue Ridge, where a lot of suspicious things seem to happen. Only two months before Lynn, a boy Gabriel Lawrey went missing, up to this day, no one seems to know what happened.Can the police solve this case, before it's too late? This is Lynn.

ADAPTATIONS

So, I would change the first sentence. I would do: 152 days, 12 minutes, and 36 seconds. (Obviously, you can make up your own numbers as I have done so.)

152 days, 12 minutes, and 36 seconds. 

That's how long 17-year-old Lynn Beaumont had been missing. 

On her way home from school- a route she had been walking almost every day for the preceding 3 years- she disappeared. Nobody appeared to know anything. Typical really, for the small town of Blue Ridge, where suspicious events seemed to happen on the daily. It seemed unlikely that Lynn would be found, frankly, nobody was surprised. I mean, why would they be?

This had already happened once before.

Only two months prior to Lynn's departure, a boy named Gabriel Lawrey went missing. Up to that day, no one seemed to have any knowledge on the case- the same way no-one knew about Lynn's. It was much more complex than the disappearance of two people. Much deeper than everyone first thought. Were they somehow linked?

Can the police solve the case before it is too late?

Originality: I do feel as though I have read a very similar story before, though I can't remember its name. I have a lot of books on my shelf and frankly, I can't be bothered to root through them all. I will take your word for it that this story is original. I feel like when you go into mystery stories, a lot of them are similar. The story is great though and seems original to me!

Flow: Okay, so everything I have read in the story so far is perfect, it all flows SO well. You have a beautiful way of writing, and your descriptive ability is great. My only problem is your speech marks. You don't use them. You use two commas instead. I am very confused about this. Is there something wrong with your phone or do you genuinely just not know what speech marks are. Anyways, I would change the ,, to " or '' which looks SO much better, and readers won't get confused. Also, when you are writing the text messages to people, I think it would be nice to test out the different options on Wattpad. For example, italics, or bold. This would make it look better than the << you have at the moment. Also, you could consider putting them at different sides of the screen, so it looks like actual text messages. Please let me know if you don't know how to do this.

Like this.

You see?


Chapter size: They range from 6-12 minutes, with the majority being 10-12. This is perfect for your story, and it works really well. As your 6-minute chapter is the night, you could consider adding it to the 157 days chapter, bumping up the length to 16 minutes. As the two are connected I think it would just flow better. To me, I like the chapter names to be similar, and yours are- up until that point. I feel like the 'night' part doesn't fit with the rest. This is a VERY small detail pointed out by a perfectionist, so don't feel the need to change it, I am just weird.

Basics: Lovely story from what I have read so far. The ,, REALLY needs to change as it is so offputting to read from my perspective. Otherwise, the story is really good. A very enjoyable read!

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