Book Reviews

The Death Of A Bachelor

Focus: Chapters 18, 19, and 20. 

Cover: This cover is great. My only criticism would be that the fonts are too light, darkening them would make it look much more crisp and clear. You could either make them less transparent, or just make them bold.

Blurb: The blurb is good, but I would make slight adaptations. It tells me everything I need to know, I would just make it more engaging.

YOURS 

General Kieran Hammedatha has been placed under pressure by his father to find a wife for quite some time now. 

You'd think that a brave and handsome soldier like him would find a bride in a blink of an eye.

 That's where you're wrong.

General Kieran is not a ladies man, and although straight, can't bear how women fall to his feet and adore him openly. That said, he is against the idea of marriage, simply because he can't stand a life long relationship with someone who's all up in his business.

That is, until he meets Elena Rivera, a woman of noble birth, who just keeps running away from him.

ADAPTATIONS

General Kieran Hammedatha had been pressurized by his father for far too long. He wanted him to find a wife. You would think that a brave and handsome soldier like himself could find a bride in a blink of an eye, wouldn't you?

Well, that's where you are wrong.

General Kieran was not your typical man. A ladies' man, as you would call it. Although his eyes wandered for only the female gender, he could not stand when one would fall to her feet and adore him openly. He was never one to chase a woman like the other boys did. That being said, you can probably guess his objections when it comes to marriage. Marriage is a tricky subject- a lifelong relationship with someone bothering him 24 hours a day- not the life for Kieran.

That was, until he meets Elena Rivera, a woman of noble birth, who just keeps running away from him. 

Now he has no option but to chase.

Descriptive Writing: So, your descriptive writing is very good. I really don't have much to say about it. I felt that you described everything really well, and I now have a great understanding of everything Kieran did in those 3 chapters. I really don't have any commentary as everything worked so well. You have a wide range of vocabulary, which makes for a very interesting read! Also, might I add that your structure is spectacular. Your paragraphing is amazing!

Characters: Obviously, I am starting the read halfway through the book, so all of the main character descriptions will have come earlier. I will, however, list all the things I learned about the characters so you can get a good idea of how well your character descriptions are. In those three chapters, I learned:

Kieran has long legs.

Luke is usually in his private study chambers.

Luke is a prince.

Kieran is a general.

Luke has dimples.

There is a description about 'a man' that goes into a lot of detail so I won't list everything you said about it in those two paragraphs.

Kieran has dark eyes that turn green when he is angered.

Rafa has caramel-colored eyes.

Okay, I think you get the point now. I only went through 2 minutes and got all of this! What I am trying to get at is that your characters are great, and you have a great connection and understanding about them. Even if you aren't focusing on what they look like, you find interesting ways to remind the readers what the characters look like. I experienced many emotions with Kieran, which shows that your characters are amazing. Keep up the amazing work!

Grammar: After reading, I truly only found about 10 mistakes which is nothing. These can easily be cleared up in editing. Your grammar is amazing. As a goal, I would try to use more semi-colons and dashes, just to spruce up your writing a bit- make it look more professional.