Malay mo, Tayo

43

WAKAS

 "What's your name?"

"Natasha Solanine Mendez. You can call me whatever you want." 

"Can i call you wife?"

"Ano? Anong sabi mo?"

"Nothing." 

 "Anong tawag sayo ng mga kaibigan mo?"

"They call me Natt. Short for Natasha."

"Oh, i see. What a beautiful name, Natt." 

"I-Ikaw? Anong pangalan mo?" 

"I'm Lance Ivan Reyes. You can call me Lance since nasanay na akong yun lagi ang tawag saakin."

"What a beautiful name too, Lance." 

"How old are you?"

"23"

"Wag ka masyadong magulat."

 "Pwede parin namang maging tayo kahit 5 years gap."

"Hindi na ako aasa." 

"How about sa first love mo?" 

"Wala akong first love. Never pang tumibok tong puso ko para sa isang lalaki." 

"Malay mo, ako yung makapagpa-tibok nyan." 

"Malay Mo, Tayo" 

Hindi. Hindi, Lance. Hindi tayo. Hindi magiging tayo. Hindi naging tayo. 

Malalim na buntong-hininga ang ginawa ko habang nakatingin sa malawak na dagat na nasa harapan ko. I decided to take a break on everything. Iniwan ko lahat ng tao o bagay na nasa paligid ko para mag pagaling at hanapin muli ang sarili ko. 

It hurts. Its hard. 

Ang sakit at hirap tanggapin lahat. Hindi ko akalaing aabot ako sa ganito. Hindi ko akalaing magiging ganito ako. Lahat na ng tao sa paligid ko ay dinadamayan ako at ginagawa ang lahat para mabalik ako sa dati. 

Pero, hindi ako makakabalik sa dating ako kung wala si Lance. 

Lance. Whenever i hear that name, parang binubuhayan ang diwa ko. Para akong lumulutang mula sa pagkakalunod. Para akong bumabagsak mula sa pagkakalipad. 

I'm the happiest when i'm with Lance. I'm the happiest person whenever i talk to him. I'm the happiest. And in my situation right now, i can't find a reason to be happy again. 

Its been months. Pero, sobrang sakit parin. I escaped reality. I stopped going to school. I stopped breathing in this reality world. Wala na akong pakielam sa kung ano man ang mangyayari sa future ko. 

Lance is the only one who understands me. Lance is the only one who knows the pain i'm suffering right now. He's the only one who can make me calm, who can make me feel loved. 

Love. Butterflies. Lance is the only one who made me know what butterflies feels like. 

In short, he's the only one who i need in this world. This world is too cruel for me. Well, my parents was never good to me. All of that, is product of my imagination. I imagined what my life will looks like if i'm living my dream life. 

I don't know if i can believe in love again after what happened to the both of us. But one thing made me wake up to reality. 

I realized that you can't find a perfect love in this world. Because they only exist in fairytales. And fairytales aren't true.