312: The One At A Pumkin Festival

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I look at Milo run up to his father. "See?" I ask Cheryl. "This is what I meant last night." I say quietly. "He hasn't seen him in week, what do you expect?" I look down. "Bye mommy!" I smile. "Bye bud." I hand his father his suitcase. "Thank you." I kneel down and rub Milo's cheeks. "I'll see you in a few days bud. Ok?" He nods. I kiss the top of his head. "I love you." I whisper. He smiles. "I love you too mommy." I take a deep breath. "Give grandma a big kiss for me. Ok?" He nods. He runs off and I stand up. "You do this every week, it's like you're sending him off to summer camp for the whole summer." I look at Milo, my ex-husband. "Ask him about what we did yesterday! Because I know he'll forget to tell you." He smiles. "Of course. I'll see you on Saturday unless something come up." I nod.

I walk over to Cheryl who's lying in bed. "It's kinda nice not having Milo here." I look at her. "What?" She sighs. "If you don't like him you can le-." She stops me. "I mean we get some peace and quiet and can have sex and not worry about traumatizing a 3 year old!" She says quietly. "Oh! Yeah! I guess that's nice." She looks at me. "You ok?" She ask quietly. "I just wish I could be there more." I whisper. She nods. "Well, maybe when he's a bit older you guys can work something out." She suggest. "I don't want to take him away from his dad." I tell her. She nods. "You guys can probably work something out still." I nod. She pulls my shirt. I kiss her. I hear my phone ring. "Ignore it." She whispers. "I can't, it might be important about Milo." I whisper. "Fine." I look at it. "It's my dad." I whisper. "I have to take this." She nods. I get up and answer. "Dad?" I ask walking out of the bedroom. "Hey Toni." I can tell something's wrong. "Is mom ok?" I ask not wanting to know the answer. "No, Toni, she's gone." I take a deep breath. "I'll be there as soon as I can." I tell him. "Ok, I love you." He says quietly. "Love you too." I hang up. "Everything ok?" Cheryl ask quietly. "My mom just died." I say still in shock. "I need to go home." She nods. "What do you need me to do?" She ask quietly. "Can you stay here and get Milo when it's time to pick him up? I'll see if you can a day or two earlier." She nods. "Do you want me to bring him to you?" I nod. "Ok." She whispers. "I'll get you guys a hotel and I'll pay you back for gas. I just need to leave tomorrow morning." I explain.

CHERYL POV:

I help Milo into the car. "Where's mommy?" He ask quietly. "She had to go visit your grandparents." I say quietly. "Are we going to see her?" He ask quietly. "Yeah." I nod. I feel a tap on my shoulder. I close the door and look at Milo, Toni's ex husband. "I could have brought him." He says awkwardly. "I know. Toni's already there and she didn't want you driving all the way to Ohio just to drop your son." He nods. "He can stay here if she needs him to." He says quietly. "I think Toni wants him there especially after the week she's had." He nods. "Makes sense." He says quietly. "We should get going." I say quietly. He nods. "Tell Toni I said hi." I nod. "Of course." I smile. He look at Milo. "Bye buddy! I'll see you later ok?" He nods. "Bye daddy!" I smile. "He's so cute." I say quietly. "Yeah. He looks like Toni." I nod. "Definitely." I whisper. "Well, I'll see you later." I say smiling. He nods. I get in the car. "How long until were there?" I take a deep breath. "Few hours." He nods. "We're gonna stop at a hotel." He smiles. "Cool." I nod. "How was your dad's?" I ask quietly. "Fun! We went to the park." I smile. "Yeah?" He nods. "Yeah and we had pizza yesterday."

I look at Milo. "What's up?" I ask quietly. "Are you and mommy getting married?" He ask quietly. I nod. "Yeah." I smile. "When?" He ask quietly. "March." I tell him. "Will that make you my mommy to?" I nod. "Yeah." I whisper. "What about my dad?" He ask concerned. "He'll still be your dad." I tell him. He nods. "Do I have to call you mommy?" I shake my head. "No, you can keep calling me Cheryl." He nods. "Cool. I'll do that." I nod. "Ok." He smiles. "Anything else?" She ask quietly. "I'm hungry." I nod. "Ok."

I look at Toni. "How was it?" She ask quietly. "I love you! I love Milo but I never need to spend 10 hours alone in a car with him again." I tell her. She smiles. "That's why I sent you to pick him up." She jokes. "Was he ok in the hotel?" She ask quietly. I shake my head. "Not really. He was scared because I'm not you or his dad. But he was ok after we got some ice cream and watched a movie." She nods. "How late was he up?" She ask quietly. "Not that late, like 9:30 ish." She nods. "That's not that bad." I nod. "How was yesterday?" I ask her. "Hard." She whispers. "The wake is tomorrow. I don't want to sound like I'm using you to be his babysitter but-." I stop her. "I can stay here with him." I tell her. She smiles. "Thank you." I smile. "You know, all he did was talk about how amazing you were and how he couldn't wait to see you." She smiles a little. "How was his dad's?" She ask quietly. "Good, I don't think he ate more than pizza for a week." She sighs. "Yeah. That doesn't surprise me." She whispers. "He's not dead and he seemed to have a nice time so I'm not really worried." She says quietly. "You're not worried?" I ask quietly. She shakes her head. "Not really."

"You ok?" I ask Toni. She nods. "Yeah." She whispers. I look at her. "I can't believe I have to do this." She whispers. "Did you tell him?" I ask quietly. She nods. "If he ask about it can you try talking to him?" I nod. "You sure you don't want me to come?" She shakes her head. "I need someone with Milo." I nod. "Ok. You're lucky that kid is cute." She smiles. "I feel bad for him." She whispers. "He's so young and he's been through more than he needs to." She says sadly. I tie her tie. "It's not your fault, if that's what you are wondering." I tell her. "Maybe we should have left him at home." She says quietly. I kiss her. "Mommy." We look over and see Milo. "Hey kiddo." Toni smiles. "What's up?" She ask quietly. "I'm hungry." He says quietly.

TONI POV:

I turn the page as soon as I'm about to read out loud Milo speaks up. "Mommy?" He looks at me. "What's up bud?" I ask quietly. "Where did grandma go then?" He ask quietly. I take a deep breath. "What do you mean?" I ask. "Well, you said she's gone, but you didn't tell me where she went." I take a deep breath. "I don't know where she went." I tell him. "Why not?" He ask quietly. "Because I don't know where people go when they die bud. No one really does. Some people have theories." I tell him. "Like?" He ask quietly. "We'll talk about this when we're older." I whisper. He nods. "Ok." I smile. "I miss grandma." He says quietly. "Me too bud." I say sadly. "Why isn't daddy here?" He ask quietly. "He's at home." I tell him. "Why?" He ask confused. "Because he needed to stay at home." I say quietly. He nods. "Why?" He ask quietly. "I don't know, it's not my business." He nods. "Let's finish the book ok?" He nods again. I finish reading the book to him as he falls asleep. I kiss the top of his head and tuck him into bed. I get up and leave the room. I close the door. "Is he asleep?" Cheryl ask quietly. "Yeah." I whisper. "You ok?" She ask quietly. I shake my head. "Do you want to talk?" She ask concerned. "Not really." I whisper. "Will you want to talk about it?" I shake my head. "I don't think so. I kinda wanna bottle my feelings right now." I tell her. "At least you admit it." I kiss her. "Thank you for being here. Even if it's taking care of my kid that you didn't even sign up for." I whisper. "I mean I didn't plan on dating someone with a kid, but I don't really have an opinion either way." She tells me. I look at her. "I'm gonna stay up to make sure he's asleep. You can go to bed." I tell her. She nods. "Don't be up to late." She whispers.

I walk into the bedroom and lie next to Cheryl. "Is he asleep?" She ask quietly. "Yeah." I whisper. "Talk to me." She whispers. "I'm not ready." She nods. "When you are, tell me." I nod. "I will." I say quietly. "He keeps asking questions." I whisper. "I don't think I can answer them." I add. "How about we get a book that you can read to him?" She suggest. "Maybe." I say quietly. She kisses me. "Get some rest." She whispers. I nod.

I walk downstairs and sit at the kitchen table. "Is Milo up?" Dad ask quietly. I nod. "Yeah." I whisper. "You know, he looks like you and your mom." He says quietly. "That's nice." I tell him. "Is Cheryl still asleep?" He ask quietly. "Shower." I say quietly. "Why are you being so cold?" He ask confused. "I'm just tired." I whisper. "You're not the only one grieving." He says quietly. I look at him. I take a deep breath. "I'm sorry." I whisper. "I just need time. What's for breakfast?" I ask him. "Pancakes." He smiles. "Can we have bacon?" He nods. "Of course. I'm guessing Milo wants his usual?" I nod. "Ok." He says quietly. "Antoinette-." I stop him. "Only mom could call me that and now she's gone so no one can." I tell him. He nods. "I'm sorry." I get up from the table. "Don't be." I whisper. "I'm gonna get Milo up or he won't sleep tonight." I tell him. "You're such a good mother." I look at her. "She was really proud." I nod.

I look at Cheryl. "You happy to be home?" She ask quietly. "Yeah. We know how much my dad annoys me. I love him but given the opportunity I would punch him." She nods. "I know." She whispers. "Here." She hands me a beer. "Thanks." I whisper. "Can I ask you something?" I nod. "Did you ever actually get over the divorce?" She ask quietly. "No. But I don't love him, if that's what you're wondering. I just wonder if it was the right thing to do to Milo." I whisper. "He lives in 2 places at once before the age of 5 and sometimes I wonder if that was the right thing to do." I tell her. "No one is happy in an unhealthy relationship that's one fight away from physical abuse." She tells me. "I had that growing up. I rather have to live between my parents houses than see what I saw and go through what did." She explains. "I'm sorry." I whisper. "You say that every time." She looks at me. "I'm sorry." She says quietly. "I'm gonna go check on Milo." I say quietly.

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