✅Melting Your Frozen Heart ( Yizhan ) ( Completed )

30. The lonely nights

'The lonely nights and hopeless mornings torture me regularly with our fading memories. I feel short of breath and out of energy to start afresh. It hurts watching you so oblivious of my feelings and unwitting about the pain I am enduring silently. I wonder how deeply I feel for you that i can't even die for the thought that you must be waiting for the right time to run back into my arms, I can't stop that same ruminating thought which lingers inside my head all the time saying....only if i could live without you..'

Earsplitting, loud music filled up the place while xiao zhan cringed at the taste of the bitter liquid that passed down his burning throat. He took several sips of the strong liquor before him while scanning around the night club where people were happily drinking and dancing around with their lovers and friends, few were making out at the corners. Filling vodka upto the brim of his glass, he quaffed it in a go only to fill it up again. Along these years his alcohol tolerance has increased tremendously and he wanted to be hella drunk today as it was the day on which he left him.

His feet tapped against the ground along with the beats of the music while he was shaking his head sideways to enjoy the music. He was drinking one after another glass. Quickly, he finished the whole bottle and ordered another one.

He was feeling a little tipsy but he was not done yet.

He poured another glass for him but clutched it tightly when old memories played in his mind again.

"Xiao Zhan, Baobei I will never leave your side"

But you did.

"Don't worry, I have lost you once, I won't let you go now"

But you did.

"Eh I won't let you cry"

But I am.

Drinking more, he kept the empty glass back before touching his wet cheeks.

Yes he was crying. Again.

'Was it too easy for you to leave? Was I too bothersome that you never returned' he yelled inside his head before gulping another bottle of vodka.

He was enjoying himself when his phone buzzed inside his pocket. Furrowing his brows, he tried to focus on the screen to look at the caller's id. He cursed when he couldn't make out the name properly due to the dizziness and his blurry gaze.

Shoving the phone inside his pocket without answering, he staggered towards the dance floor and swayed his body on the beats of the song. He danced carelessly without caring about people who gawked at him weirdly, with few whispering among themselves.

Without caring about anything else, he tried to forget everything for a while but gritted his teeth when all of the things replayed in his head again, like a movie.

It's been four years that yibo is gone. He has never contacted anyone neither came back once since that day. I have waited day and night for him, did everything I could. Begging Buddha, planting lucky bamboo to attract my good luck, grandpa too tried everything to find him but till now we didn't find him yet. Ahh grandpa? Yes yibo's grandpa, my angel, my buddy and my grandpa too.

My relationship with yibo's family has improved a lot in these years. Though we all miss him a lot but I still tried my best to fill that hole in their lives nevertheless the void and wound left by him in my heart and life is still as it is, still bleeding and growing a little everyday. I miss him a lot, like more than anything, there's not even a second that I don't think about him. He is always on my mind and nothing can change that.