Off One's Rocker - Lashton

Epilogue

Epilogue

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It was strange for Luke to be nervous for a therapy session. It was probably because he hadn't been to one in around three months.

He was not quite sure why Sid stopped them, he obviously had a reason. But, there were times where the blonde really wanted to speak to the man about how he was feeling. It was never the same speaking to Alex now. It was due to the closer relationship now, not only did Alex find it hard to discipline the boy. Luke found it hard to take his mother's boyfriend seriously.

"You never spoke to me the other night," Luke mentioned as he sat in the therapist's office, fiddling with his fingers anxiously. He could not tell how the man felt about his recovery.

"I wanted to wait until today," Sid spoke up, flicking through the blondes paper files.

"Why?" Luke asked confused. "I thought maybe you were angry or something."

"I wanted to see how you would cope without knowing my view of your recovery," he explained, still not quite revealing how he felt about it. "Which seemed to be controlled for you," he figured.

"Only because I figured there was some method behind your silence," Luke admitted, knowing he would probably freak out if he did not assume this.

"You would have never done that before, though," the man pointed out. "You've learnt to think about the possible options and therefore don't straight away panic and fall back down again."

"I guess I have," Luke agreed, feeling more positive about himself.

"How do you feel about yourself?" Sid asked, twirling a pen in his fingers.

"Alright. I haven't had the urge to do anything in months," the blonde revealed, smiling to himself. 

Sid also smiled "You look healthy. In both weight and happiness," he revealed making the younger boy let out a sigh of relief.

"I am," Luke agreed. "Everything is so much better now. Like, my relationship with everyone is so much more positive that I don't have to hide things."

"If only you admitted to things earlier," Sid chuckled, remembering all of the struggles of getting the blonde to own up to many things.

"If only," Luke agreed, with a small smile. He then sat there in silence, inspecting the man curiously.

"What?" the man asked, confused as to why the young boy was looking at him weirdly.

"Why did you decide to become a therapist?" Luke asked, thinking about what Victoria said a few nights ago.

"I took pointless school subjects and it seemed interesting and linked in with them. It's also good to pay," he explained, however, the blonde didn't seem so convinced. "That's the truth," Sid confirmed. "To start off with it was."

"What do you mean?"

"My wife hated that I spent so much time talking to so many other women or young girls about their feelings," he explained. "I don't know why I was loyal to her."

Luke looked over at him, surprised he had a wife. Or he may still have one. His eyes flickered down to  Sid's finger, there was no ring on his finger.

"Did she divorce you?" Luke questioned.

The man shook his head. "I loved my job and I still do. There is something about helping others that make you feel good about yourself. At the time I did not work in a ward, but the hours were still lengthy. My wife missed me, yet also was still jealous." The man sighed as he looked at Luke. 

"You don't have to explain," the blonde told him.

"You asked and I'll answer. She'd always been a bit crazy, to get what she wanted, she would go to extremes. At first, she started to starve herself. When I got home she always said that she had already eaten. But, I always cooked her a meal too. Just in case she wanted some. It's not in her nature to not eat. Her mind doesn't work like an anorexic's, so she always ended up eating.

So she tried being self-harm, but she's never been one for blood so of course she never continued with that. Basically, every person I would see at therapy who had a problem, she would try and act like them to get my attention. 

I knew what she was doing and what she wanted. I got home at seven every night, it's not like we never saw each other, but, in her opinion, it wasn't enough. Perhaps it was because I was with other girls.

So, she decided to hang out with other men. I knew she was doing nothing sexual as such. Just to try and make me jealous. But, I was more than happy for her to make friends with boys. She told me she was going out one night. Out with a few of them. I let her go."

He stopped there and looked at the blonde, his eyes teary, but strong enough to not let anything break through. 

"What happened?" the blonde asked, almost in a whisper.

"She killed herself," he whispered back. "She walked in front of a car, sober as hell."

Luke didn't know what to say or do. He couldn't tell if he was angry or sad.

"I understand now, that she was depressed. It was obvious. But, I don't think either of us could tell. We both too caught up in her trying to get attention from me."

Sid stood up and walked over to the window, looking down at the car park. "That's the thing about depression Luke. It's invisible and damn easy to hide behind a smile." 

The therapist turned around and let out a fake smile.

"You're sad," Luke stated, understanding now.

"I find something that makes me happy is helping others. It helps me forget, yet also help me get better. I think that's why I came across as hating you at first. I didn't dislike you, I just hated the fact all of your problems were so obvious and to everyone else I was just an annoying therapist."

"Why don't you get help?" Luke asked confused.

"I don't hurt as much as I used to Luke. I'm on medication and all, but it's only now and then I slip into a phase of depression. Working with people like you and Ashton mends me. Ashton helped me a lot, he's such a positive boy. And that's why I always made sure you stuck close to each other."

"This is my last session," Luke said. "What will you do now?"

"I'm moving to England," he explained. "I met someone and she lives down there."

Luke couldn't help but smile, which made Sid smile. 

"Happiness is contagious. If you're happy, everyone else will be. Don't let one bad day bring everyone else down."

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