Off One's Rocker - Lashton

Chapter Fifty-five

Chapter Fifty-five

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"You look better than before," Sid stated when he went to collect Luke from the waiting room on his second session.

"I suppose I feel it," Luke shrugged unsure of how he felt at the moment. Everything was overwhelming and he was weary about anything. He was putting all his trust into Jack that he sometimes did not sleep just to ensure he told no one.

"Suppose is not what I want to hear," the older man said heading into his room. "I need you to be certain."

"I will be one day," the blonde told him knowing he'd eventually recover one day soon.

"One day too late," Sid raised an eyebrow knowing the boy had a few occurrences of near death and was near a really low weight currently and just a couple more pounds lost he could be on his way to death.

"You're so negative," Luke huffed slipping off his shoes knowing the routine the therapist had explained to him last week. He was not sure if he had gained weight and if he did, he was not sure how much it would be. But, he had eaten a good amount during the week due to Alex watching him and Jack begging him to.

"You need to be to sort out people like you," Sid explained grabbing a pen from his shirt pocket.

"But you won't let me be negative towards things," the blonde protested taking a quick glance at the scales before stepping on.

Sid just laughed and shook his head. "You really don't know when to give up do you?"

"Sometimes you need a precise and accurate answer."

"Alright then. Well, maybe you should apply that to your recovery. It will get you far."

"Maybe," the young boy stated bluntly, looking down and seeing the pounds add up.

"One hundred and five," Sid read out loud, slightly unbelieving of the number. "I was most certainly not expecting you to gain four pounds already," he admitted surprised.

"I'm a fat fuck!" the blonde shrugged stepping off the scale and heading back over to his worn down vans. He was a little gutted he gained four pounds already. He accepted the fact he was going to have to gain weight and he accepted the fact he would have to gain one or two pounds a week. However, he was disappointed in his eating habits last week. 

Luke just wanted to control his eating, that was why he cut out food from his life. It just went too far every time. He hated telling people this, therefore, he was going to keep it to himself, as well as resolve it.

Sid frowned at the boy's words knowing both what he said was definitely not true. Likewise, knowing that Luke may possibly mean it. "You're not," Sid reassured him, placing a supportive arm on his shoulder.

The blonde remained quiet as he knew there was no point in arguing. After all, he knew he was wrong to some extent. He just could be greedy when it came to food.

"For starters, you are still underweight," the therapist began to explain looking the blonde in his ocean blue eyes. "Secondly, just because you eat more than usual does not mean you are fat." The man cringed at the word, hating how it could destroy someone in an instance.  

Luke still remained silent as he took a seat and slumped back in the chair. He looked down at his caved in stomach knowing soon it will once again stick out.

"Are secrets meant to be kept?" Luke asked randomly as he tugged his sleeves down a little bit more.

"Some are. What type are you on about?" the man asked suspiciously, a little worried if it was relating to him as well.

"Just all in general," he shrugged dismissively.

"Put in the context of your life, something like not telling your mum you went somewhere she did not want to go is no big deal compared to you throwing up or self-harming," he explained.

The blonde froze in his seat, incredibly scared that Jack had told someone and now Sid knew too. "Okay," he quietly muttered.

"Actually on the theme of self-harm. Have you returned to that or had the urge to do it?" the man asked curiously not having anyone report it to him.

"No," Luke quickly told him. He then realised he looked really suspicious by the looks the older man was giving him. "I've had thoughts obviously, But, I've got Ashton and I just generally have other coping mechanisms now," he lied through his teeth. He did not harm himself often, but when he did it was brutal towards his body.

"Good," Sid nodded a little unconvinced but seeming as no one had reported it he decided to leave it be. Consequently, he opened up a cupboard and pulled out not one but now two slices of chocolate cake.

Once again Luke's eyes widened in fear, instantly thinking he had to eat it all.  When it was placed in front of him, Luke immediately found himself reaching for a piece to get it over and done with.

Sid sat there and watched the boy shove the cake in his mouth, he ate it faster than last week, but with slight struggle and regret upon his face. He just could not believe Luke had eaten something without even being told to. Especially something rather high in calories. He was concerned that Luke's recovery was going to be too fast and that it was not his high weight he had a problem with. It might be controlling his eating.

Finishing his last bite, the blonde wiped his mouth with his hand and muttered, "Now you can call me fat!"

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