Off One's Rocker - Lashton

Chapter Sixty-six

Chapter Sixty-six

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"Was this all planned?" Luke asked as he now sat at a separate table with his therapist.

"Partly, I knew Jack would get it out of you and when hearing you were meeting with your dad, I knew you would be at your most vulnerable."

"Do I get to talk to my dad?" Luke asked, looking over at his brother and father who were happily talking amongst themselves.

"If you want to," Sid shrugged simply. He knew the past between the blonde and his father and was a little shocked to see that Luke wanted to talk to him. Yet, at the same time, it seemed like something Luke would do. He was very forgiving, maybe a little too much.

"I want to," he nodded eagerly, taking another glance at his father. He missed him, a lot.

"Alright. The quicker you get this out of you, the quicker you can go back over there. Seem fair?" the man asked, watching the blonde shuffle in his seat.

"Sure."

"Are you okay?" Sid asked with a frown. Luke had now calmed down from yelling at his brother and crying and now he seemed not to care that Sid had found out.

"Yeah, I'm good," Luke shrugged simply.

"You're not scared of talking to me about what you said earlier?"

"I feel relief," the blonde laughed slightly. "It feels good to have it out there but at the same time, I hate myself.

"Why do you hate yourself?" the elder asked sympathetically.

"Because you all know what I do to myself. This happened before, basically. I won't want to eat now."

"Do you think there is some kind of cycle?" Sid purpose.

"What do you mean?" Luke questioned.

"Before you were diagnosed with anorexia, what was your eating like?" 

"I ate anything I could get my hands on really," he admits, remembering back to the days where he was practically obese.

"And what made you want to change?" he pressed.

"I always thought it was a boy at school who told me to lose weight. However, I know realise that I made that up and it was really from hearing my brother talk about my weight."

"So you decided to starve yourself?"

"Not at first, I just decided to diet and then I saw a news piece on throwing up and I thought it would help me lose more weight."

"And did it?" he wondered, knowing the answer though.

"Yeah, although I did go back to eating a little more as I thought I wouldn't gain weight, but I did a little. So then I started ti starve myself so I could not be tempted to binge at all," he explained, beginning to understand what Sid was trying to get out of him.

"And eventually at the ward, you began to eat again," Sid filled in. "And what worried both Alex and Victoria was that you got too comfortable with eating again too soon on. What happened when you got home, how did your eaten pattern change?"

"I started to eat like I did before and began to binge again. I knew it was wrong and I was getting fat, but Ashton made me love myself and look past it."

"Until?"

"Until Jack commented on how I was getting fat again and beginning to eat like I did before. So it all started again, the starving and this time I also continued to binge but made sure I purged straight away."

Sid looked at the troubled boy and wondered if he was going to carry on the action of either bingeing or starving. Preferably, Sid would rather Luke starve himself. Because, he knew that if Luke excessively binged, he was going to go down a hellish root of starvation.

"I'm going to stop all of this," Luke agreed, nodding his head. "I will stop binging. I will control myself as much as I can."

"It takes time."

"I've got time and I've your help, right?"

"You have everyone's help, Luke. But, our help does not truly matter. Your own help is what will truly make the difference."

"Sid?" Luke asked, biting his lip nervously.

"What?"

"I want to come off of my psychosis medication."

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