Thinking (chapter 85)

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In the morning I got up and made breakfast for Nerezza. I didn't feel much of eating. I could tell she was happy than before. I looked at her as I sipped my tea and smiled at her.

"Why are you so happy? Huh?" I asked. She smiled eating her French toast.

"Because now I have a friend to play with! Will Marcel be going to my kindergarten? Please please say he will! I don't have any friends there. They're all icky and rude. Can we visit Uncle Deku and Bakugo today?" Said Nerezza pleading to take her over. I laughed. I walked to her and ruffled her hair.

"Sweetheart I don't know. I can ask Deku and Bakugo if they don't mind but I'm not a hundred precent sure. Don't get your hopes up ok?" I said walking away. I grabbed my phone and called Deku and Bakugo. They both agreed. They said we should meet at the park and that's what we did. When Nerezza and I got to the park Nerezza ran off to play with Marcel. I laughed sitting down at the bench with Bakugo and Deku. Maria was asleep in her stroller.

"So what do we need to talk about?" Asked Bakugo. I looked down at my hands shaking feeling a tad bit scared. Deku grabbed my hand to make me stop shaking. It worked.

"Look. Like I told you before weeks ago.... our father is alive. He somehow saved me many times without being present. I've met with him a week ago. He's building up strength for this last mission I may ever have. Today i am headed to his location and his only wish is to meet and test on Nerezza..." I said looking at my shaking hands. My breathe with unsteady and I can feel the paranoia creeping in. Deku looked at me and Slapped me. I looked at him.

"Please don't tell me you're actually going to have Nerezza meet him! Do you remember everything he did to us? You! He nearly killed you! Forgot the saving part! All the pain you went through! With the tests! You have to be out your damn mind if you think you can trust him! Not over my body. She's still a fucking kid. She does not need to live the same horrible life you have!" Yelled Deku at me. I couldn't believe he'd actually snap like that. I still couldn't think straight. He gasped and apologized for the words he yelled. I sighed.

"H..he's changed Deku... I know he has. He's just trying to make amends for everything. If anything gets out of hand I will stop it all. He saved her after all when I couldn't. And I know you didn't but did mean half of what you just said and I agree. She doesn't need to have the same horrible life I have. She shouldn't go through any pain but if these test ensure she's safe then it's fine right? This is why I wanted to talk to you.. well the both of you. You both decide if you should let our father meet your kids. Like I said yesterday meet me at that one park we'd all go to at UA. I'll wait for you answer till then. This is only for them. Both Hawks and Father know more details about the mission and Dave. If you do not what to go and have our dad meet Marcel or Maria then I understand. 7 pm sharp..." I said looking down. Deku shook his head.

"You are right. I don't even know you anymore. How can you just give everything away for someone or something that is not certain! What did Grace say about this? Does she know?!?" Said Deku. I sighed.

"No cuz she's dead...." I said looking down at my hands still. Bakugo looked at me.

"What do you mean?" Asked Bakugo. I looked at him and Deku.

"She's not alive. She's dead because she tried killing the only person who can help me and Nerezza. She betrayed Lily, shiggy and I. She betrayed Inko and Matsuki. It had to be done. There was no other way. Is it bad if I had no remorse for her? Yes she was my mother but was she really my mother. She was never there, never an actual mother figure. Forget what my father did. She did much worse. She couldn't handle slight pain of anything. It was only right. Having to be a mother to your own sibling and self for years on end. Tell me. What kind of mother leaves her own kids go defend for themselves. Yes I cared for her at one point in time. That was my mistake for trusting her and not myself. Think I'm crazy. What mother kills her daughter over and over and over and over and over again. You know why her quirk is Grace. She could heal anyone. Even if they're 4 minutes dead. Trying to kill her own family and granddaughter. Tell me. Who really lost their mind? And Deku, Bakugo. Make sure you truly trust the people around you. Cuz if you don't you'll be dead in the night having your kids go through all that pain." I said standing up. I wiped my single tear.

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